Numbers

How cliche will that be.

"You okay bud?"

"I guess. I just don't understand why I can't just like get my GED or something. I just don't wanna have to go through the same thing over and over again. I change schools like all the time. "

"It's your last year Robin. I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. Raising you on my own when your mom is god knows where. Battling my addiction and being sick all the time. You not eating. All those god damn model pictures on your wall." He runs his hand down his face in frustration.  "I'm worried bud."

"C'mon dad. We're gonna miss our bus." I say trying to take his attention away from my "problem".

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I wake up the next day dreading the rest of the day. I roll over and throw the covers off of me and onto the floor. Today is not going to be good. What will I do during lunch? How cliche will that be. New girl sits alone during lunch. I scoff at the thought.

I lazily pull myself out of bed and drag myself to my bathroom. My messy black hair covered most of my face. I open my cabinet doors and pull out my scale. My dad thought he hid all of them. I hate keeping things from him but I need to know. I close my bathroom door and step on.

"110. Five pounds less than last week. So I can only eat one or two things today. Maybe a orange."

"Bud? You okay in there? Who are you talking to?"

"Uh yeah. I'm just-" I struggle to put the scale back under the sink. "I'll be out in a minute."

"What's all that noise?" He says turning the knob.

"N-nothing. Just getting out the shower." 

I slam my hand against the door to keep him from coming in. I just can't bare letting him down again. The look in his eyes when he saw me shoving my fingers down my throat. It was the same look in his eyes when we were told my brother died.

"Oh okay. Well, hurry up so you can make it to school on time."

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I slide on a black acid washed jean tank-top with a dark blue denim jacket. I fish out my red and black plaid skirt and my black platform shoes I bought from my previous move. I ramble about my room for my circle lens glasses and burgundy beannie. I throw all my stuff on along with a couple random necklaces that were my moms'.

I look in the full body mirror and nod in approval. Just not my flabby belly. I put my hair into a messy bun and throw my backpack over my shoulder.

My dad was sitting on the couch watching his early morning shows. His head turns and his eyes light up at the sight of me.

"You look beautiful baby girl. If only your mom was here to see how much you've grown." His voice goes soft. 

"One day dad." I say trying to lift his spirit.

He nods shoving off the fact.

I kiss his cheek. "Okay, well i'm off to hell."

"It won't be bad bud. Just go with a high head."

 "You'll only have a bad day if you allow it." I finish off my new school pep talk.

He smiles, "Yeah."

He kisses my forehead and says, " Try and eat something for me?"

My insides feel hallow and my mouth dry. Does he know? He shouldn't. Iv'e been so careful to make sure he doesn't. My head feels with different assumptions, but I keep my composer.

"Of course." I smile.

"I'm proud of you Robin."

I nod and walk to the door.

"I love you dad. I'll see you when I'm home."

"I love you too bud. So much." His eyes full of warmth and his words sweet.

I smile wide and say, "Don't forget to take your meds at 11."

"Will do. Now off you go and stop stalling."

I smile and walk out the house and shut the door behind me. Even with my seventh new school pep talk, I still wasn't ready.

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I hope you guys enjoyed  this chapter. How do you think her first day  will go?