You Are My Earth

/1/

I smiled as I got off the plane, and messaged Nick to pick me up as soon as I had gotten food and ate. I don't speak; I only sing. I pulled out my guitar, and started to play, then to sing "I don't know anything, I don't know what I'm gonna do about anything.."

~~~~

I looked at saw Nick, smiling I entangled him in my arms, kissing his cheek "Missed you kiddo." he laughed, and lightly touched my back. We got into his car, and I just watched as the houses and businesses went by, and I just looked out the window, thinking of all the music I could possibly write. I could write about the trees, and it would be terrible, but I would love it. I haven't talked to Jordan in a long time, but it was simple. I'm just not his type. I don't need flower petals to know that he doesn't 'love me'.

We pulled up into a driveway of an apartment complex, and I smiled at the building. It was small, quiet, just like him. We entered, walking through the halls, and saw 53. Nick opened it, and there he was. "Hello, Nick." he looked at me, his gorgeous brown eyes piercing into my soul. "Brinsley? I thought you were in Ontario?"

"She came back, she liked Ontario but it just tired her out. Being away from her friends there then going back was so tiring on her. She doesn't talk much anymore, she sings though. She missed you." Nick pushed me into Jordan. Holy shit he's cute still.

"Hello." he said with a smile. I smiled back.

He's so pretty, I want to touch his face with my face. He showed me his room, and he talked to me like he did when we were younger. His voice was soft like velvet and his sheets were just the same; his smile made me want to combust into a million pieces because he is just as perfect as he was a year ago, and I wish I could kiss him again, just to taste his plup lips.

We ate dinner with Nick and their friend Kyle, then Nick and Kyle left and Jordan went to do something out of the house. I just sat on his bed, and sang. I sang until it hurt, and even a bit more.

"I don't care if you're not sorry I forgive you, with or without your support I will continue..."

There was a knock at the door and I jumped. "Hey, you sing well. Will you ever speak?" I shook my head. Who even talks anymore? Not me, frick that man. I sighed, and looked at his eyes, slowly getting lost in his facial features and the way he breathed. His chest moved slowly, but was beating quickly. His hands were sweaty, because he wiped them on his shorts. His lip was quivering. I looked at his lips, then his eyes, and I felt the familiar soft velvet once again.

I looked at him once we pulled apart, and he just pulled me close again. I smiled, and looked down. Gosh, I missed this. "Love birds; I get it's been a while but you have like, forever to spend time together. Jordan; I need to take Brinsley to mine because, well, I don't want you two having sex."

Jordan face turned bright red, and the thought of sex made me sick to my stomach. I felt ill, and I had to deal with it.

-

Once I was safe, with a blanket over my legs and a stuffed animal by my head, I felt the flooding of awful thoughts hit my subconscious. I quickly got up, and started playing my guitar softly, whispering to myself, tears slowing sliding down my face.

"and she'll go to church and pray to god one day, but is she getting into heaven? no fucking way.."

"with tears in his eyes he begged me to stay, I said 'hey man I love you but no fucking way'.."

I sighed, and I heard a knock at the door. I saw Nick, and he smiled. "Do you regret leaving home?" he asked softly, and I just looked down.

I will never miss home. I hate it. What even is my real home? Realistically I have thousands of miles until I ever get home, but the sound of his laugh and his voice in general, it makes me feel like I am home.

He is my home.

But that's not what Nick was asking, so I shook my head. I don't miss my actual home. I thought I did two years ago when I first came to the US, to California, but now? God, I don't miss it at all.