Bits of Me

Entry 3 OEDIPUS COMPLEX (Aug 13 '13)

Oedipus Complex

 

“Good morning baby.”

I love waking up in the morning. Every day when I open my eyes, I will be greeted by the one and only girl in my life. She has the most beautiful face. Her smile warms me up like the sun does. She embraces me in her arms showing me that I am her most precious one. Her voice is so soft and lovely. It sounds like the voice of an angel. She always places a kiss on my forehead reminding me that she loves me so dearly.

She makes me food every morning and it is the best breakfast in the whole world. She knows what my favourites are and also what I dislike the most. She knows how I like my food.  She knows how much food I can take. She is the only person who knows me well. She will become anyone I need. She is my dearest best friend.

However, I cannot be truly happy because I have a rival. He is big and strong. He has longer arms and legs than mine. He has the same hair as mine. We share the same facial features; although his is more mature looking. I don’t like him very much. I dislike the way he looks at my love. I don’t like it when he gives her a hug. I hate it that he kisses her with love in his eyes. I hate the fact that he is oblivious of my feelings. He does not acknowledge that she is supposed to be mine, and only mine alone.

Afternoon came and I felt tired. It is now my time to take a nap. She accompanies me in my room and sings to me my favorite tune until I fell asleep. My dreams are full of her. I dream of her lovely face and her dazzling smile. I dream of her angelic voice calling my name and telling me she loves me. I dream of her warm embrace that drives away the pain and hurt in my heart. I dream of her laugh. I dream of her with me in her arms.

I was woken up by the sound of her adorable giggles. I smiled at the sound and got out of the bed. I followed the sound that leads me to the living room. I was hurt by what I have witnessed. She was sitting in his lap. They were playing a game. I think it is ‘tickle-tickle’. I can’t help but to feel jealous. She looks so happy. They stopped playing and I was hoping that she will finally acknowledge my presence. But what happened next crushed my heart into broken pieces. He leaned closer to her face and brushed his lips to hers. They were looking at each other in the eyes with love and adoration. Realization struck me, she loves him. She never looked at me the way she looked at him. He makes her happy more than I can. He completes my love and I know I cannot compete with the love they have.

I went back into my room. I could not stop myself from feeling sad. My heart is broken. I lost the girl of my life, my love, to a guy that will give her everything she needs and wants.  I should let her go. She deserves a better life that I could never be able to give her.

“Hey baby, why so sad?”

I did not hear her come to my room. I do not know what to answer or say to her. I cannot tell her to stop loving him. She will be so sad and it will break my heart more to see her cry. I cannot answer her question so I chose to remain silent. She closed the distance between us. She placed her hands on my shoulders. Her eyes are looking straight at me. They are full of love and care. She engulfs me in a comforting hug. Then I felt her breath near my ear, and I hear her whisper…

 “I love you”

She loves me. I know I can believe in what she says. I trust her because I can feel that her feelings are sincere and genuine. She loves me and that is enough.

I have to tell her what I feel.

“I love you too mommy.”