Control

three

"Hey little cuz," Amelia said not bothering to whisper. She had sprawled out and settled herself on Jasey's bed as if it was her own, and thrown her back pack oN the floor. She had her medium length brown covered by a dark grey, almost black, beanie. Her chocolate brown eyes shown all across the dark room with happiness even though she had small bags from either stress or lack of sleep or the latter. Her face was clean of makeup, not like Amelia needed it. She had a natural beauty that didn't need to be enhanced with makeup. She was wearing running pants and a baggy sweatshirt. Amelia was a firm believer in dressing to impress, but when going to see Jasey she only ever wore sweats knowing they would have a movie marathon and wouldn't leave the house.

"What are you doing here?" Jasey repeated, still encompassed with excitement and gratitude. Amelia always knew when Jasey needed her, and right now was one of those moments. When they were young kids they claimed to have a telepathic connection to describe their sister-like relationship. As they got older and when Amelia moved away, the bond only grew stronger. Now Jasey only sees Amelia once every few months, if she's lucky.

"I was just passing through on my way to see Uncle Charlie in Nevada and thought I'd stop by for a couple days. I went by your house across town, forgetting you're parents got divorced and that you moved out of that house to a new one. But when I saw the empty driveway, I remembered and went to Man Overboard to see Adam. But he wasn't there so I just started walking toward the grocery store and I saw you running. I tried calling your name, but you didn't hear me so, I just followed you. I lost you a couple times, and figured out my way to a col-de-sac and just picked the house that had your moms car in the driveway." Amelia said matter-of-factly.

"I'm just so happy you're here!" Jasey sqeauled with excitement.

"So am I. But let's get down to business, spill everything that's happened in the last four months. Give me the dirt. The good the bad and dirty."

"Well there's not much to tell," Jasey said now laying inside her comforter too. "Everything's been relatively the same except with the divorce. It always felt like mom and dad weren't married, since they was never together. Dad was always gone on business trips. Now they just made it official in black and white. It's for the best I guess, if they're happy that's all that matters."

"What about Cassie? How's she doing?"

Jasey looked around the room, trying not to meet Amelia's eyes. She was hoping Cassie wouldn't be brought up.
"Um, I'm not sure, I hope she's good. We haven't spoke much since she left for college in the fall." Jasey mumbled picking at the little bumps in her comforter. She took a slow deep breath before continuing in the smallest voice manageable , "Do you think it has something do with what I said that night?"

Amelia looked up at Jasey with eyes full of heartbreak. "Well, I don't know. But I do know your friendship was really nice while it lasted and you created a bunch of great memories. Therefore it wasn't wasted or something you should ever regret. She came into your life for a reason, and she left for a reason."

Once the word "left" tumbled out of Amelia's mouth, she knew made a mistake. And the mistake was written all across her face, with Jasey's tears being the outcome. "Why did she have to leave? Why does everyone leave me? I don't see mom, I don't have Cassie anymore and I barely see Adam now. And you, you're here for a few days and then you leave for two months. I know people have their own lives, it's just...I'm so lonely! And I don't know what to do, or what I did wrong."
Jasey whispered with tears running down her face. The startling part wasn't the fact that she was crying, but that it was silent. No gasping and screaming, but the complete opposite. Silent tears and powerful words spoken as quietly as possible. Jasey almost seemed guilty for saying what she did. Almost, but not quite.

Amelia took both of Jasey's hands into her own and let her rest her head in her own lap. Amelia soothingly shhhed Jasey and played with her hair knowing it always helps her calm down a bit. Every now and then Jasey would whimper "It hurts Mia, it hurts." or "I don't know what to do help me, please."

"Let's talk about something different," Amelia murmured once Jasey calmed down a bit. "How about your dream? Is it still happening?"

Jasey nodded her head. "Yeah, it is. It's exactly the same, every single night. Some days I even look forward to it, just to feel genuinely happy. It gives me hope. That someday I can feel like that again."

"Explain it to me then" Amelia muttered in an attempt to get Jasey to fall asleep.

"It's starts off with me sitting on a boardwalk or something with my feet in the water. It's a very dark blue, but it goes perfectly with the light blue of the sky. There's someone next to me, but I can't tell who it is. I don't know if it's a girl or a boy, but I know I'm happy being with them, wherever we are." As Jasey explains her voice starts to get quieter and quieter finally fading into nothingness. Once she's asleep, Amelia quietly gets out of the bed and tucks Jasey in as if she were a little child again. Before Amelia leaves to go to the guest bedroom to get some sleep, she kisses Jasey on the forehead and whispers, "Goodnight Jas, have a good sleep." And walks soundlessly out of the room.

When Amelia got to the guest bedroom and put her bag in the closet, she took out her phone and called the most recent phone number she called. The person on the other end picked up on the second ring. "Hey Adam, it Amelia."

"Hey Mia, what's up?" Adam said with a yawn.

"You were right. It's much worse than I thought."

"About Jasey? I know! Maybe next time you should trust me when I say 'it's gotten bad, you need to come soon.'"

"I'm sorry, okay?! I thought she would get better on her own! That eventually it would just go away."

"I don't understand why you can't fucking trust me! I know what I'm talking about when it comes to Jasey, alright?!" Adam exclaimed, now starting to shout.

"You know exactly why! You know exactly you did!"

"Oh come on Amelia! Are you seriously still fucking mad about that?! That was long time ago! I thought I was protecting you! Explain to me, tell me why you're still mad at me! I did all I could do! I've said sorry more times than I can count. Tell me what else you want me to do!"

Amelia pinched the bridge of her nose, not expecting to get in a fight this late at night. "This isn't about us, this is about Jasey. What the hell do we do?"

Adam let a long and deep sigh before responding. "I don't know. I really don't know."

"Have you tried therapy?" Amelia questioned in a cautious voice.

"I've brought it up a couple times, but the times I did she about had a hissy fit. I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to do."

"I know she doesn't want to do it, Adam. But sometimes the things that will help you are the hardest things to do. She needs therapy or some kind of medication because she can't do this by herself even if she thinks she can."

"Okay, fine! I'll try bringing it up again and go from there."

"Good. She won't listen to anybody but you, and I think this will seriously help her."

"Alright, I'll see what I can do."
He paused before continuing "
Goodnight, sweet dreams."

"You too." Amelia finished and hung up the phone before tossing it onto the floor. She rubbed her tired eyes wondering when her life and the life of others became so complicated. She wished she could go back to when she was a kid and all she had to worry about was how long she could stay out and play with the other kids before it got too dark and she had to go inside. Those were the good days...the easy days. She tied her hair up in a pony tail and got under the safety of her blankets letting the memories of the good days lull her to sleep.