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prolouge

5 Years Ago: March 16, 2011. 2:46 a.m.

I''m sitting on a wooden dock with my feet dangling into the water. The sky is a cloudless blue, with the sun radiating heat on my back. The water in front of me is a deep blue grey and is rippling with loads of reckless waves crashing to the shore behind me. I can't help but notice how happy I am. I can feel the wide grin on my face because my cheeks are staring to hurt, but I don't care. No matter how hard I try the smile won't leave my face. I can feel my happiness bubble up inside my stomach. Almost as if I were to explode. I move my bare feet in circles around in the water creating random designs. I realize my hands are entwined with the person sitting next to me. I go to look up at the person to tell them how grateful I am for being in their presence but their face is blurred out. I can't tell if it's a boy or girl, but all I know is I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. I turn my attention back to the ocean in front me and watch the waves get smaller the closer they get to shore. Just as I'm about to-

"Stay awake get a grip and get out. You're safe from the weight of the world."

"Uggghh" I groaned flipping over and covering my face with my comforter. My phone continued to ring until the call was sent to my voicemail. I waited a couple minutes and sighed. I threw off the covers and walked to my dresser where my phone was charging to see who left me a voicemail.

"Hey Jas, it's Eleanor. I'm calling to tell you it's time. I think I'm ready. I'm not sure how much more I can take.-". By now the tears are streaming down my face, I know what comes next. "I wanted to thank you for being the best friend I've ever had. You helped me through a lot, and don't think for a second it was ever taken for granted. Don't bother trying to save me, by the time this reaches you it's too late. I love you like a sister, have the great life like we dreamed about."

"By the time the voicemail was over I was already in my car pulling out of my driveway on my way to Eleanor's house. Time seemed to be stretching for hours even though it's a ten minute car drive. The second my car was shut off I bolted to her front door and unlocked the door with the key under the doormat.

"When I got up the stairs, Eleanor's bedroom door was already open. Her parents, Mr and Mrs. Newman, and her younger brother Luke were already there. Eleanor's dad was on the phone with who I assumed was the police. His face was bright red and blotchy. I was already a blubbering mess but I gasped and started sobbing even harder when I saw Eleanor lying lifeless on the floor. That's when I lost it. I couldn't stand to be in that tiny room anymore. I ran out the front door and collapsed on my knees on the front yard violently gasping air that refused to enter my lungs. I heard the front door open but I didn't bother look up.

"Shhhh it's okay Jasey, it's okay. We"ll be okay. The ambulance is on their way. Then she'll be better, I promise." Mrs. Newman cried, looking just as much of a wreck as I do, with tear stained cheeks. Her face looked blurred due to the tears blocking my vision. She wrapped her arms around me and enveloped me in a bear hug. I'm not sure for her security or mine. She kept whimpering faintly and told me everything will be okay.

In the distance I could hear the faint screeching of sirens getting closer and closer. When they arrived Mrs. Newman stiffened and shot straight up to follow the EMT's into the house. It seemed I was too paralyzed with fear to try and get up. But when they carried out Eleanor on a stretcher is when I snapped out of my trance and bolted toward her.

Everyone was asking a million questions a minute except me. My breathing hitched when I saw her lying there, I had to stop walking in order to stay on my feet. She was eerily still but her face looked a bit peaceful, without her usual worry lines accompanying her forehead. Suddenly my breathing and heart rate increased, and I felt like like everything was caving in around me. All the voices around me turned into a dull ringing right before I fainted and plummeted to the ground.