Can't Get Enough (Killua & Gon)

x Confrontation x

Killua started to subtract his mess from the kitchen counter tops and add it to the sink, he let the water envelop the group of freshly stained dishes and started to wipe down the counter. He wrapped the kitchen towel around the stove's door handle and started to wash his hands, throwing his apron on the back of a wicker chair parallel to Gon and popped a squat on the same seat. Killua stared at his steaming creation in admiration before looking up to see Gon had been watching him this whole time.

"Were you waiting for me?"

"Obviously, you seemed really involved in your cleaning so I didn't want to say anything." Gon let a grin peak out from behind his nonchalant facade.

"Whatever, I'm done now. Eat up, stupid."

In a matter of a few minuets, Gon had already absorbed his plate of food and started to get up to go see what was in store for him inside the refrigerator.

"Take your plate to the sink before you get more food, you savage." Killua's head lolled to his left shoulder so he could see what Gon was doing behind him.

"I'm full, okay?" Gon made his way to the fridge and pulled the door open. A florescent glow projected itself onto his face, contrasting with the warm orange light that floated around the rest of Killua's apartment. "I was just thirsty for," he scanned the many drinks in his friend's fridge "this!" the sound of clinking glass made Killua swivel around in his chair.

"Are you old enough to drink?"

"We're the same age, stupid. If you're old enough to buy than I'm old enough to drink."

"Oh.. well I guess you're right."

"I always am." Gon chided in a tone that felt more boisterous than usual.

Killua gladly took the beer when offered one, he focused his Nen to his pointer finger and flicked off the cap like it was made of paper. He watched as Gon simply twisted his off without using Nen at all.

"Even though I know that doesn't hurt, I'm still not used to that "

Gon shrugged, "What, using physical strength without nen?" They lightly clinked their glasses together before he tipped the beer back and started to chug. To Killua, Gon's tone seemed to change. They sat in a shared silence, Gon obeserving his friends home in what seemed to be deep thought.

The silver haired hunter thought about his past with his best friend for a moment, he wondered what would happen if he reached out his aura to Gon's. He merged his energy with Gon's hand and started to scan the rest of his body while using Gyo.

Nothing?

"Killua, don't." He brought the lip of the bottle away from his mouth and dragged his hand away from where it was laying. Gon eyed daggers at his friend and Killua could feel a slight hostile projection from where Gon was sitting.

The pale hunter took in a sharp breath at Gon's sudden hostility, his guess about Gon was right. "Did you ... ever manage to get you Nen back? After what happened back in the NGL?" Gon brought his head forward and lowered the drink to his knee, his brow crinkled in thought as he slowly retracted his hostility at his friend.

"Yes and no," Killua started to see this was a weighted topic for him, he felt bad for digging up the past, probably making Gon think about what happened with Kite and Pitou. "I got my Nen back when Alluka healed me I just can't see it anymore. It's hard for me to use Ten, let alone Zetsu to try and keep it from leaking away from me. I've practiced a lot but I can only seem to manifest my ability when I'm in a life or death situation. Ging said I needed to find a new goal and that it would help me, but I'm just not sure about it all anymore." Gon still seemed lost in thought his eyes glassed over for a minuet until he finally brought them up to meet Killua's gaze. "I don't regret it Killua, not a second of it. I don't care if I won't be able to use Nen again fully. I did what was right," Killua carefully watched his best friend, a fire that should've been long extinguished still frothing around in Gon's eyes.

"You're going to be able to do everything and more again Gon, you just can't give up! Ging is right you have to just keep looking for a new goal that motivated you like he and Kite did!"

"I'm not giving up. I did what was right I avenged him and I don't care what I lost in those moments. I don't," Gon squeezed his eyes shut and placed the beer onto the table; he dropped his head in his hands and lowered his head to his knees. "I just, I don't care."

"You do care," Killua quickly set his beer down, wood clawed at the floor as he pushed his chair back. He lowered his body and knelt in-front of Gon. "hey, you do care. If you didn't give a rats-ass about this whole situation you wouldn't be crying you know?" The pale hunter placed his hand over his companion's and started to peel Gon's hands away from his face. "Look at me, Gon."

"No, Killua don't, I-" He started to choke out.

"look at me." Killua pushed the other hand away from his face and stared into Gon's dazed and wet eyes. "You can't keep this inside forever Gon. Ging is right about finding a new goal but first you have to get over your previous one. You're still holding onto Kite."

...

Gon looked as if he just got smacked in the face, beat red and garnished with tears Gon pushed away from his comforter.

"Obviously I'm still holding onto him! He protected us, he took us in," Gon's voiced raised steadily "he died for us! How would you feel if I told you to forget someone you loved, Killua?"Gon thrust himself out of his seat and started towards the door yanking it open and forcing himself to walk barefoot on the cold cement.

"Gon wait that isn't what I meant," Killua got up and followed Gon out the door. "you know it's not what I meant! Please calm down," Killua started to try and bargin with his friend, he himself started to get worked up as well. Seeing his companion of six years breaking down in front of him because of him, somewhere inside his heart a pain he'd been ignoring started to flare again. "Gon, please."

~~~~~

Gon started to pick up his pace almost loosing Killua in the process, without Nen, Gon was still chillingly formidable in battle. His speed increased still leaving Killua no choice except to end this with his ability. Gon lead them into a distant part of the city thick with brush and dense with trees. Electricity seethed from Killua's skin, drenching the Nen user in a thick aura of static energy. In an instant, Killua appeared in front of Gon, hands coated in a blue light tenderly found a hold on tanned arms. Gon steadied himself from the whiplash and started to push away from Killua.

"Gon please! Stop." Killua put force behind his voice. The tanned hunter struggled against his friend still, his chest heaving in air like his life depended on it. Killua swiftly pushed Gon against a nearby tree to keep him from bolting off again causing him to grimace at the sudden forceful impact. The electricity that danced across Killua's skin made his long hair stand on edge, the locks whipped against his back causing sparks to fly.

"Using Godspeed isn't fair Killua," Gon wheezed out.

"When have you known me to play fair?"

Gon guffawed at Killua's quick reply and slowly stopped struggling against his companion's hold. The electricity from Killua's hands tickled and enveloped Gon's shoulders, he closed his eyes and focused on rousing his Nen to try and revolt in a metaphysical way. Killua's ability shut down immediately after he felt a surge of aura come from Gon.

"I'm sorry Gon I forgot you can't reflect the electricity, did I hurt you?" The nen user stretched a blanket of Shu over him, causing Killua to realize he also hurt his friend's back. "Your back, I-"

"Please don't apologize anymore Killua, I just need some space right now." Killua reluctantly pulled his aura away and Gon visibly shivered at the loss.
"I've been avoiding thinking about Kite and my nen as much as I could for the past few years. I haven't talked about it with anyone. I just..." Gon's internal conflict was almost palpable, hanging around them in the twilight of the woods.

"What do you want me to do then?"

"Don't chase after me anymore." Without another word, Gon pushed away from Killua's loose hold and continued to walk into the forest until he disappeared from Killua's sight.