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Tomorrow

I'm scared of tomorrow. The thought of you not being there is what scares me more though. I'm not sure how long I have left with you but I do know that I will treasure these moments. If you knew this was about you, you would reassure me and tell me that there is no way that we won't be together then but it isn't true. I am a passerby in your life, as I am in most, and this won't be forever as I had hoped. I'll try to prevent the inevitable though I know me efforts are to no avail. Life for me is a bitter cycle that I can see no end to. Constantly leaving or being pushed out the door. Waking up alone. These things are all so normal though each time they leave a wound deeper than the one before.

Tomorrow is a scary thought. No one knows what it holds or if it will even come. Should the world end tonight, I'll have my regrets. I'll regret not telling you how I felt. I will regret not breaking the cycle or my shell. I will regret all of my bitter - sweet endings. I will regret it all.

Tomorrow is a scary thought. I cannot control tomorrow just as I cannot control today. I lack the power to change the world, or myself. I struggle everyday with a mask that is plastered on. I have a brave face. I'm loud and out there. Inside is different. Inside I'm crying for help desperately trying to escape. Tomorrow will be different, I try to convince myself. The scariest thought:
It won't.