t h o u g h t s

one

I'm terrified.
Terrified of the thought that I won't be here someday.
Everybody has a fear, whether it's heights or spiders. I fear death.
Nobody ever really thinks about it, [ dying ] unless they have to. It isn't an average thought. Our minds are usually preoccupied with other events, good or bad, rarely do you think, "I'm going to be dead someday".
This thought rips through my mind as I lay surrounded by darkness.
The thing that really gets me is the fact that there is nothing we can do to stop it, everybody dies.
I do believe there is a heaven, a world beyond the one we're so familiar with. I fear the unknown, the fact that there's another world doesn't exactly provide me any comfort.
Nobody knows where they're going when they're gone;
Nobody knows when they will be gone.
The thing is, I wouldn't want to know. That would make it worse wouldn't it?
I'm not afraid to admit that I'm scared of dying, why wouldn't you be?
Thinking about death is saddening really.
One day I won't be here.
Those words cause ache in my heart. I can't stop time, I can't slow it down, my ticking time bomb is uncontrollable.
I'm terrified.
I think they call this paranoia.