Beating Heart (Delena Fantasy/Fanfiction)

Chapter 17: I am mighty

Selena's POV:

August 14th, 5 years ago

I woke up after a rough sleep. It was still in the middle of the night, but my awareness of time was gone. I stared at the ceiling while my shadows bounced around. In front of my face and spread through the room. They yelled at me. I was confused to see my head lifting up without my own will.

Kill. Kill. Kill. Death. Don't spare their lives. We hate them. You hate them. Make us proud. Kill. Kill.

The shadows spat their words at me. Furious like fire. Like hell itself. They made me feel furious. I was so angry. It felt like I was trapped in an eleven years old body, but I was as big as the devil. I could spit fire, I was mighty. As mighty as God, as mighty as Satan. The feeling boiled up in my body and I stood up. My fists were clenched. They made me feel like I was in hell, and like I belonged there. I was so mighty, I could mistreat my slaves without concern. For fun. I enjoyed blood. I could stab people in their backs and laugh about it. I was too mighty to feel compassion. I could see flashes of myself as a full-grown Penarik. And I was so proud of it. I heard screams, screams that sounded like music to my ears. I didn't see what I was doing anymore. All I saw was how enjoyed my mightiness, caused by my shadows. I saw blood on my hands, and I enjoyed it. I loved it. I wanted to smear it all over my body, to feel even mightier. So that people could see how I killed. Killed like God, killed like Satan.

My broken body woke up the next morning. I was up in a second, confused about the feeling I still felt. I felt so broken. I felt so weak. What did I do? I looked at my wrists, the symbols illuminated. They had never done that before. My shadows were nowhere to be seen.

What I saw when I wanted to visit my parents, is indescribable. Too traumatizing to tell. They were dead, and my sister too, that's all I can say. Like I told Demi, the blood was everywhere. Don't find me a creep, but I had lied next to them, the whole day. Because it just looked like they were sleeping. Their skin was pale and greyish. They actually looked like me for once. As if they really were my parents. They were of course, but they were always so tanned compared to me. I barely looked like a child of theirs. They were dead, but I couldn't call the cops. They would know I did it. It was so hard for me to process it. I didn't kill them, but I did.

I lied to the rest of my family that I was in an institution for orphans. That the police brought me there. They lived on the other side of the country, so they couldn't visit me anyways. I sobbed in my bed for the rest of the year, until people noticed me. I had to move, on my own. I had to teach myself so many things, I got used to living alone through the years.

Demi's POV:

3rd March, present

*
I lied on my side of my bed. I was alone. Selena was gone. Dead. She now danced for her shadows in terrifying ways, along with her flock members. Her mind was now blank. She couldn't think. She could observe, but not process. The only creatures who processed were her shadows. I had so many questions that could never be answered. I had to go home now and come up with a lie to explain she wasn't with us anymore. I could say she had been in a car crash, but I had no scratch. I could say she got a really bad flu, but I would've called earlier if she had. I was not going to pretend to still be with her, and I was not going to stay here any longer. I would have to go home on my own and live my old life again. I would have to live with my pain. I would have to go back to my homophobic, sexist, racist, brainwashed family and friends. I would have zero friends, except Ruby. Everyone at school would talk about me, and maybe bully me. I had to face it all while getting reminded of her every second of the day since I was now stuck with that scary vision and feeling she had given me before turning into a terrible creature. And above all, no support from her. She wouldn't be there if I had my best and worst moments anymore. I couldn't even imagine that her spirit was around me because she isn't dead. Her spirit was still trapped in the corpse that was now fulfilling the dreams of her shadows.