Crashing into new waves - a Wesley Stromberg/Emblem3 fanfic

Chapter 35 - I need

Why don't I feel happy? I should be jumping up and down in joy. Why am I still sulking in misery on Wes' bed? What is wrong with me? Everything went my way yesterday, this time HE gets to suffer instead of me.

Court...

I think yesterday was one of the hardest days I had to face, seeing him again made my skin crawl. I kept getting flashbacks how he beat me up in the forest, drugged me in the bar and how he raped me. A shiver goes through my body just from thinking the word; I don't think I will ever truly get over this.

The evidence was pretty strong against him and the testimony from Drew, Mike and Joan sealed his faith. He got sent to prison for a long time. I should feel relieved, right? I should be happy that there's justice in the world and he got exactly what he deserved. But I don't. Yes I think jail is where he belongs but it's not making me feel any better, I was still beaten up, I was still raped and I can never forget those.

Wes left an hour ago to do something with Drew, he didn't tell me what. He was reluctant to leave me alone but eventually he did and now I'm here sitting on his bed in their flat. The court was in LA so it was easier to stay here but tomorrow I'll go back to Huntington since my flight is the day after tomorrow. I still haven't talked to Wes about our future but I guess it has to be done today or tomorrow. The way Wes has been with me, I think he would be happy of my decision to stay... But I can never be sure and with everything that has happened, I don't want to feel like a burden. I will need a lot of time to heal. So I don't know will he want me around with all my baggage?

But my mind keeps going back and forth with everything that has happened this week. God why it cannot be silent for one freaking moment in my head?! I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I throw the covers off me and get up from the bed. I need to do something to get my mind of everything. The silence in the living room is unbearable, I hate it. I need to hear anything to calm me down and distract me from my own thoughts. My eyes glance at the piano in the living room, sitting in its solitude. I immediately feel something warm filling my insides. That is my absolutely favorite instrument but I haven't played piano in such a long time.

My hand gently brushes the cold smooth surface of the black piano. I take a deep breath and sit down on the leather chair in front of it. Hesitantly I place my fingers on the keys and close my eyes. I let my mind go blank and my fingers begin to glide on the keys with a mind of their own. I sigh in content when the notes reach my ears, I've missed this. Something is bubbling inside of me and I let it come out in the form of melodic notes. My head begins to move to the music and my mouth begins to hum sounds.

"I need..." Lyrics are starting to form to the music I'm composing without even realizing.

"I need sunshine." I sing softy.

"I need angels... I need... something good." My eyes remain closed while my fingers move gently on the keyboard.

Half an hour later I open my eyes and I realize I've just made a song, a song that came from deep within. I'm pretty closed up person and I have a difficulty in letting anyone in but when I make music, I can pour my soul in it without hesitation. It has always been away to help me get through things, a form of therapy for me.

"Wow."

A voice startles me, making me jump in my seat. I quickly shift my body to find the source of the voice and my body relaxes when I spot Keaton. I place my hand on my heart and breathe in relief. "Keaton. You scared me."

There's guilt immediately in his eyes and he frowns. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

I lift my hand to cut him off him. "It's fine. What are you doing here?" My eyebrows furrow together. Why is he here by the way? I wouldn't have played piano if I wasn't alone in my house.