Killing The Past

7.

 When she woke up, Marcelo was already gone. Tarja groaned and buried her face in the pillow. "I don't want to get up." She told the walls. Her throat was dry, her head hurt and she felt as if she would throw up any second. She groaned once again and turned on her back, suddenly feeling something against her naked skin. The woman reached underneath herself and her hand found folded piece of paper. Sitting up, she forced herself to open her eyes and started reading.
Tarja,
Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, darling. I didn't want to wake you up, you were so beautiful while sleeping. I already miss you. Can't wait to hug you and kiss you again.
Love,
Marcelo
"Awww, Marcelo" she smiled and kissed the letter. "I love you too. Though you can be pain in the ass sometimes. Like yesterday, for example." She sunk back into the pile of pillows and smiled again, remembering Tuomas and amazing time they had. "You know what," she told herself after thinking about dark-haired man for a while, "I'm gonna go and make myself coffee." She sat up in bed but groaned and fell back again, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't do this." She moaned and hugged herself more tightly, wishing that it was his arms that were hugging her. Tarja sat up rapidly once again, at the same time wondering if all these times he sat up counted as exercise. His arms? "Tarja stop." She whispered. She couldn't go on like that. Her feelings towards Tuomas were getting out of her control. Tarja knew she still loved him, but at the same time she knew she didn't want to leave Marcelo. What do I do? She thought helplessly, running one hand through her raven-black hair. Sighing, Tarja stood up and decided that all her problems could wait until she had had her coffee. She threw long shirt over herself and headed towards the kitchen, not bothering with shoes or pants.

   The woman entered the kitchen and her gaze fell on tall man standing with his back to her. She recognized that posture, that mane of shaggy, black hair. Tarja shrieked and Tuomas turned around, at the same time letting go of the mug he was holding. The loud crash echoed through the room, and coffee ended up on Tuomas's trousers. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Tarja screeched, trying to pull her shirt down as much as possible. Tuomas's eyes darted towards pieces of broken mug on the floor and then to Tarja. They stopped there and studied singer's naked legs until one more shriek made Tuomas look up. "My eyes are up here you idiot!" "I rang the doorbell several times, but nobody answered. I leaned against the door and turned out that it was open, so I came in." The keyboarder grinned. "Come on, I have even seen you naked, remember? Calm down." True, he had seen her naked once, when he stormed into her changing room before the concert. She yelled at him then, he left very embarrassed and hadn't spoken with her for the whole day. Tarja smiled at the memories. "That was fun." She grinned. "Yeah it was." He grinned back. "So, what brings you here, Mister Holopainen?" "Pleasure of your company maybe?" "You'll get enough of my company soon, just let me change and I'll be right back." Tarja grinned once again and turned around, marching towards her bedroom. Tuomas's gaze followed her and he couldn't help but admire her backside and legs. "Mister Holopainen, I can feel you staring!" She yelled without turning around. Tuomas blushed and looked away. "I wasn't staring!" He yelled back, just when she shut bedroom door behind herself. The door creaked open and Tarja poked her head out. "Tuomas Holopainen not staring at woman's backside? I sure do believe that." She smirked and her head disappeared in the room. "Not my fault! It's beautiful!" He yelled at the closed door. Loud laugh came from the room and Tarja's head appeared again. "I know, thank you." She laughed again, adorable blush appearing on her cheeks. Tuomas merely smiled and bent down, picking up pieces of the broken mug. Just when he threw them away, Tarja came into kitchen, now dressed in jeans and Sonata Arctica T-shirt. "Come on, I'll make you another coffee." She exclaimed and yawned loudly. "Woah, woah don't swallow me." Tarja abruptly closed her mouth and shot deadly look at him. "Asshole." She mumbled, pouring hot water in two mugs and adding coffee. "Come on, it was a joke." Tuomas was standing next to her now. "I know." Tarja smiled up at him. She was so adorable, and so heavenly beautiful at the same time. He couldn't believe that he kicked that woman out if his life himself. I have to apologize. He thought, his heart hammering in his chest. I owe her an apology. "Tarja, we need to talk." The singer looked at him with raised eyebrow. "What is it?" "I never apologized for what I did." "Tuo-" "No, wait, listen. You might not believe me and I don't blame you for that, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for hurting you, for treating you like that." He sighed and looked away from her, while her emerald eyes studied his face, in attempt to find something else either than guilt and remorse. With a sigh, she gave up on making sure whether she had seen love in his eyes or not, and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry too, Tuo. I behaved badly towards all of you and unfortunately it was too late when I realized." Tuomas put his arms around her and held her tightly, tears welling up in his eyes. "It's all okay now." He whispered and tears ran down his cheeks. A stifled sob answered him and with surprise he saw that Tarja was crying too. "No, no Tari, don't-" "It's okay." She looked into his eyes and smiled. Just kiss her. The voice in back of Tuomas's head said. She doesn't feel the same. Tuomas argued with the voice. Of course she does, look at her! Tarja was standing close to him, her hands around his shoulders, with her eyes half-closed and her lips formed into that gentle smile Tuomas loved so much. Unconsciously he leaned down and felt her breath on his lips. Their faces were inches apart and they drowned in each other's eyes. Just when Tuomas leaned in a bit more and brought his hand up to back of her head, a telephone rang, causing Tarja to flinch. "Be right back." She mumbled and ran out from the kitchen, her cheeks reddening. Tuomas cursed under his breath. The moment was perfect and that stupid telephone ruined everything! He sunk into chair and took a sip from his coffee. Tarja leaned against the wall in her room and breathed heavily. The phone was still ringing, but she wasn't paying attention. "Stupid phone!" She mumbled and wiped sweat from her forehead. They were going to kiss, Tuomas was going to kiss her! How could someone call now?! Sighing she picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Hey honey." Marcelo, wonderful. "Hi." She smiled. "How are you?" "I'm fine, what about you? What's wrong with your voice?" "Nothing, I was exercising." She lied. "I miss you, Tarja. Are you alone right now?" "Yup. I miss you too." She lied again and bit her lip. "Heard anything from Tuomas?" "Not yet. Why are you asking?" "Just interested. Listen, I've gotta go now, see you tomorrow. Love you." "Love you too." She hung up and threw phone on the bed.

 "Everything okay?" Tarja felt Tuomas's hand on her shoulder. "Yeah." She answered without turning around. "Who was that?" He asked, lighting up a cigarette. "Marcelo." Tarja answered harshly. "And throw away the fucking cigarette!" She snarled. "Sorry, I'll go outside." He said, opening the door and walking out on the balcony. "Nice view." He commented. I won't be able to hide my embarrassment for too long. Tuomas thought. God, I'm pathetic. "Hey." He said, after he had finished smoking and walked back into Tarja's room. "C'mon, let's visit the guys." Tarja smiled for the first time after Marcelo's call. "I'd like to. Are you sure they'll want me there?" "Of course!" Tuomas exclaimed, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. Tarja shivered at his touch and felt butterflies erupt in her stomach, but decided to ignore the feeling, hoping that it would go away. "They're dying of boredom and to be honest we all missed you like hell, so of course they'll be happy to see you!" He missed me. He missed me like hell. Tarja's cheeks reddened. She looked up at him, her eyes pausing at his lips for longer than it was appropriate, but seemed like Tuomas didn't mind. Tarja smiled again, fighting the urge to kiss him. But maybe he didn't want to kiss me at all. I'll never know because of stupid mobile phone! Tuomas's voice tore her out of her thoughts. "You coming?" "Yeah just let me call the taxi."

   Soon they were standing in the hotel lobby. Tarja drew couple of deep breaths and tried to calm down. Tuomas's hand slid into hers and he gave her a gentle squeeze. "Everything's gonna be alright, I promise." He smiled down at her and saw that she had calmed down. "Okay let's do it." "Come on," Tuomas led her towards elevator. "They must be in Floor's room, it's the biggest and most comfortable one. Also, it has TV." "Oh it must be a paradise, then." Tarja giggled.

  "Here." They were standing in front of big wooden door. Tarja could hear yelling coming out from the room. She recognized Marco's roars, Emmpu's shouting, Floor's giggles. Her heart hammered in her chest and she started sweating. Tuomas must've noticed it because he took her wrist and pulled her closer to himself. "Hey. It will be good. Don't worry." He said and hugged Tarja. The singer looked up at him and nodded. Tuomas kissed her forehead and let her go, getting hold of the door knob. Tarja breathed in deeply and Tuomas opened the door. "Hey Tuomas is that you?" Emmpu asked without looking around. All of them were watching TV. "Yeah and pause that thing, will you?" Tuomas replied harshly. Floor paused and everybody turned around in unison, their eyes widening as they stared at Tarja in surprise.