One Deep Breath

Chapter Two

On Monday spring semester classes began. Jolie only had 9 credits worth of classes left for her final semester, so she had taken on a part time internship to help fill some of her free time. She had been thrilled when she had been offered a position at Glance PR & Marketing, a small but successful company not more than five minutes from campus. Her schedule was going to be easy too, three classes on Mondays and Wednesdays and interning Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9 to 4. That meant a three-day weekend every week. Monday flew by for her, since the first day of class typically just means introductions and a review of the syllabus. So after dinner at the dining hall, Jolie was back in her dorm deciding on what to wear for her first day at Glance. She decided on a classic pencil skirt, white fitted blouse and nude pumps.

When her alarm went off at 7:30am Tuesday morning, she was already nervous. Rachel could always sense when Jolie was starting to get overwhelmed, and Jolie was grateful when she got out of bed and turned on some music to help her relax while she finished getting dressed.

"Well you'll at least look like you belong," Rachel offered. "You look hot too, by the way. That pencil skirt is amazing on you. Feeling okay?"

Jolie sighed. "Is it obvious?"

"Only to me." Rachel gave her a sympathetic look. Rachel had witnessed Jolie's rollarcoaster ride that was her anxiety on and off for the past three and a half years. Jolie knew Rachel could see when she was reverting into her shell or going into panic mode.

"I think I'll be good," Jolie said, more to herself than Rachel. What option did she have? She knew faking it was half the battle. Even when she felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest, she knew she still had to play the part of a normal 21 year old college student.

Acting okay is the first step to feeling okay.

"Alright, I'm off," Jolie said with one last glance in the mirror. Grabbing her bag she gave Rachel a wave and was out the door.

Jolie lasted ten minutes.

Up the road at her Starbucks, waiting for her latte, she felt the ground dip. Her instincts told her to breathe but her ability to take a deep inhale was already gone. Suddenly extremely aware of her own heartbeat, it felt like her chest was going to explode. A rush of heat came over her body and her hands started going numb.

You're fine. It's fine. Its just in your head, she thought to herself.

Jolie found that the worst part of her panic attacks was wondering if this would be the time when she was actually having a heart attack, about to drop dead, or if it was once again just in her mind.   

While Jolie started internally talking herself down, the rest of the buzzing coffee shop was oblivious to her struggle. When her name was finally called by the barista Jolie grabbed her cup and turned to flee. Fumbling with her coffee cup, oversized purse and car keys, Jolie's latte tumbled from her grasp and splashed all over her shoes just as she reached her car.

"Goddamnit," Jolie cursed under her breath. Leaning her forehead against the top of her car door, she started coming down from her panic attack; the hot coffee on her feet no doubt helping her snap out of it. As quickly as it had started, it was gone.

Picking her head up, she went to open her car door when she realized someone had witnessed the entire thing. Standing at the entrance was one of the most attractive men Jolie had ever laid eyes on.

Her eyes traveled up his pressed three-piece suit until they locked onto his dark blue eyes, a mix of curiosity and concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked Jolie.

Jolie, mortified, started shaking her head.

Of course there's a hot guy witnessing this, she thought to herself. Tall, blonde and completely poker faced, she was guessing he was at least a few years older than her. He was way more put together than the guys her age, plus he was carrying himself with confidence. The only giveaway to his youth was in his face, with bright eyes and smooth skin.

"Uh, yeah, no, I'm fine, I just, uh, just a bad morning," Jolie sputtered and gave a weak laugh.

"Who are you running from?" he inquired, as Jolie continued to note just how alarmingly attractive he was. 

"Hm? No! I wasn't running. I'm just late," Jolie countered, "and it's my first day." She actually still had plenty of time as her new office was only a few miles away, but claiming she was behind schedule was a much easier answer.

Jolie bent down, scooped up her now empty coffee cup and walked over to the garbage can on the sidewalk.

As she passed, she could feel this guy's eyes on her. The pressure on her chest from her previous attack dissipated into butterflies in her stomach immediately. When she turned back towards him she took one deep breath to get her composure back.

Jolie's new mystery man's eyes were wild with curiosity, but he didn't say anything else. He was quite captivating to look at, but Jolie couldn't come up with anything clever to say, and his quiet demeanor was off-putting. For someone who was so quick to get involved at first he had certainly shut down pretty quickly.

"Uh, alright well, I'm fine. I better get going."

The man stepped forward and finished opening the door for her. She peered up at him questioningly.

"Well I hope your day gets better," he offered.

"Me too." Jolie paused just long enough for him to offer his name or ask for hers, but he gave a quick nod, shut her door and turned back to the entrance.

Well that was odd.

Looking at the clock she saw she had exactly ten minutes left to get to Glance.

For the rest of the day, her anxiety hadcompletely vanished as her mind was busy replaying her run in with the hotcoffee-shop man.