One Deep Breath

Chapter Twenty-Four

Pausing outside her room, Jolie froze. She knew Rachel was on the other side of the door waiting for a full recap of her night with Jesse.

She didn't know how to explain where her head was at to herself, let alone anyone else. In the past two weeks she had met Jesse, became mildly infatuated with him, and then somehow totally spiraled into falling for him completely. She was in deep with him, too deep. Thinking about it made her shudder.

"Hi," she mumbled. She could sense her friend's eyes locked onto her, and for some reason Jolie found herself staring at the ground, pretending to fumble over her bag so she could avoid eye contact.

When she finally did look up, Rachel was perched on the side of her bed with a humored look on her face.

"Welcome back," Rachel teased her, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Have fun?"

"Mm-hmm," she replied, turning her back to her friend and slowly unpacking everything she had brought with her the night before. She had always told Rachel everything, so she couldn't quite justify keeping everything to herself.

A part of her wanted to keep her escapades with Jesse to herself. It was all such a whirlwind, and the entire situation seemed almost unreal. Plus she got the sense that Jesse was quiet, reserved and private, and it had rubbed off on her in just a weekend. Even though she had only slept with him twice, it was by far the most intimate she had ever been with anyone.

Luckily Rachel could read Jolie better than anyone, as if she had some secret instruction manual somewhere that she had memorized.

"Okay, well, I won't ask for details little miss low-key, but, just know that I know," Rachel concluded after a few minutes of silence. Then she got up, stood in front of the mirror on her closet door and began fixing her hair.

Rachel's confession of knowledge was enough to make Jolie turn and face her.

"Know what?" she inquired tentatively, not sure whether or not she wanted to hear whatever Rachel's assumptions were.

"You like him. Like, a lot. And you totally banged him. Probably twice," Rachel stated, plain as day. As if she had been there or something.

Jolie's mouth dropped open. "What," she fumbled, "wait, how..." she trailed off. So much for staying mum. "How did you know that?"

Rachel just grinned and shrugged her shoulders in the mirror. "Just do."

"Fine," Jolie spat, half alarmed at her friend's perceptiveness and half relieved that she had taken the pressure off of her to confess. "I do really like him. And yeah, we hooked up. Twice," she emphasized the word twice while she made a face at her friend. "But it's just hard to talk about. I don't know why."

Jolie and Jesse had spent the entire car ride back to Sumner watching movies, chatting and napping. Well, Jolie napped, she wasn't sure if Jesse had. But in the quiet moments while she had cozied up to him in the back of his SUV her mind had already started to wander and worry. It was always in between being awake and asleep when her anxieties would get the best of her.

"You're scared," Rachel interrupted her thoughts. "New relationships are scary. Especially coming off of one as fucked up as you and Landon."

She was still talking to her into the mirror reflection, as if they were just casually discussing lunch plans. When they finally met each other's eye in the glass, Rachel gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Stop sulking over it. It might work out, it might not. Who knows? Who cares! You got to sleep with one of the hottest guys I've ever seen. And he's rich. If you're gonna fall for him at least enjoy the perks in the meantime."

Jolie could always count on her best friend to lighten up the situation. She pushed her anxieties aside and decided to let herself feel giddy again.

"He took me to New York," she said as her face lit up. When Rachel froze in confusion, she added, "City. New York City."

"Wait, wait, wait," she pounced, immediately moving over to the desk chair at the end of Jolie's bed, pulling it out and sitting down, going full interrogation mode. "Excuse me what now? You spent last night down in the city!?"

Jolie giggled at Rachel's incredulous reaction. Her hands flew to her face as she nodded.

"Holy shit J, that's amazing!"

"I know. We stayed in his penthouse. His penthouse. Ya know, just a small little place in the city. Except it was huge with two story tall windows overlooking Central Park."

"No wonder you banged him," Rachel teased. Or maybe she wasn't teasing. Jolie couldn't tell.

"I feel like that's what he's afraid of. Girls using him for his money. That's the sense I get anyway," Jolie chided. "And that's not why I like him, Rach. I just like him. He makes me feel," she paused while she decided what word would be best.

"Happy," they both concluded simultaneously.

Jolie flopped over backwards onto her bed, throwing her arms over her face.

"God I'm in so much trouble," she announced to the ceiling. "He's so ridiculously amazing and I'm already basically in love with him. I mean not really because I've only known him for like a day, but honestly I'm so invested in this already. It's crazy! I mean what if I'm like way off here? What if he's just a total playboy? What if I never hear from him again? Here I am imagining being with him, like really being with him, and he's probably home like 'okay well that was fun, on to the next.' I'm an idiot. And I probably have AIDS now."

"Wait, he has AIDS?" Rachel questioned.

"No! I mean I hope not. But we didn't even use a condom. Like, who even does that!?" She propped herself up to look at her friend in shame. "Me. I'm an idiot. I need to get tested."

"Ya know, people like you are the reason we all have HPV now," Rachel chastised. She was joking though, and Jolie knew she was joking but the smirk on her face.

"Ugh," Jolie sighed. "Sorry. Minor meltdown. I just like him."

"I gathered."

"Alright. I gotta think about something else. What are you doing tonight?" Jolie shifted the conversation away from her current situation.

"Probably Mike," Rachel shrugged. Jolie narrowed her eyes but stopped herself from commenting. "Don't look at me like that. He invited me over and we're overdue for a hook up sesh. It's been awhile. We didn't all get laid last night."

Jolie bit her tongue, but the thought of Rachel with Mike made her blood boil. He treated her so badly and with such disrespect. Last semester he had totally manipulated her into being his fuck buddy after she had made it clear she wanted more. Rachel wasn't as tough with him as she was with everybody else though, and she let him call all the shots in their relationship. Or lack thereof, really.

"Alright I'm heading to the library in a little bit. I'll just see you later," Jolie conceded.

"Probably not," Rachel winked at her before disappearing into their bathroom to get ready.

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