Let It Be

Chapter 2

I made my way to the kiosk that I worked at in the mall after 3 full days of freedom from this gruesome place that only teenagers enjoyed going to for fun. Everyone else, they only went to the mall to do occasional shopping or worse... work. It wasn’t by choice that they came here. At least for me it wasn’t. I just stumbled upon a job in the mall selling cell phones for a big name cell phone company. The kiosk in the mall was only supposed to be temporary but they ended up sticking me here longer than expected.

As I walked to my kiosk at 8:48 in the morning and clocked in, I noticed an unfamiliar face. Usually the people in the mall were all the same each and every morning; old people power-walking, workers coming in to open their stores and shops, the occasional school group, and the security guards that roamed keeping it all “safe”.  But this one was different. This was the first time I was seeing this guard. She was as brown as an almond with the smoothest skin I could ever imagine. Her hair pinned up into a ponytail rested under her mandatory hat with each and every detail of her uniform crisp, sharp, and on point. Her tie was perfect while her badge gleamed in the florescent light. As she took each stride closer and closer to me, inaudible words came from the small walkie-talkie that sat on her shoulder. Her boots hit the ground with authority. Her walk was just as smooth as she looked as she casually strolled the lane, walking closer and closer toward my kiosk. Her mind must have been elsewhere because she clearly didn’t see me staring at her. That was fine though because at this point I was struck. I couldn’t look away if I wanted to; I was so stuck in a trance. There was something about this girl. She HAD to be gay because if she wasn’t, I was slowly developing a straight-girl crush… yet again. What was with me and this infatuation with straight women? I don’t know, but this time felt different. Although my gaydar was permanently dysfunctional, it sometimes worked and right now, it was roaring off the charts. As she got closer, I quickly looked down at the computer and pretended to be typing something. My peripherals still had a lock on her as she began to pass. I looked up, just for a second and caught her looking at me. I smiled at her, and she smiled at me the most perfect set of pearly whites I’d ever seen, and continued walking. The butterflies in my stomach went absolutely nuts as I watched her pass me and walk away. Damn, that ass looked good in them black pants.

I always had a thing for a woman in uniform.

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As I went through my day, helping customers and selling shit, as usual, I couldn’t keep my mind off that new security guard. I should have said something. I should have jumped out there and at least said “hey”. It was yet another missed opportunity because of my shyness. But I was determined to say something the next time I saw her.

The hours passed and as hard as I sought, I couldn’t find her. I mean damn, if I wasn’t going to get the chance to talk to her, I, at least, wanted to ogle her one more time. My shift dwindled towards its end and I was slowly giving up hope on seeing her again. Ms. Officer by Lil Wayne played over and over in my head while customers and coworkers talked to me, words floating through one ear and out the other. I was a cornball, but everything in my life could relate to a song. Call me a music junkie, you’d be right.

The clock hit 5 and I grabbed my stuff out the cubby. My keys, hanging from a rainbow lanyard that said “LEAGALIZE GAY”, was the last thing I grabbed as I half-shoved them in my pocket with the lanyard hanging. As I walked toward the nearest exit to escape this horrid place I call the mall, I saw Ms. Security Guard heading in my direction with another of the older, more senior guards. Internally I froze but my legs kept walking me toward the exit, just as cool, calm and collected as ever. I never wore my emotions on my sleeve and I was glad I could maintain a poker face because my thoughts were RACING!

Oh my damn, there she is. Aw shit. What do I do? What do I say? Fuck. SHIT! She’s fuckin cute. Say something, say something, SAY SOMETHING! I battled in my head. These mind battles happened often when my shy nature tried to take over. But what was I so nervous for? I was just saying “hi”. I wasn’t asking the girl out.

As she walked beside the other security guard, engaged in light chit chat, I saw her look at me and smile a huge kool-aid smile as she looked down to where my lanyard hung.

“I like your keychain.” She said to me, pointing in the direction of the gayness that was my key holder.

I smiled, “Thanks.” I replied.  And with that, we continued in our respective directions. That was all the confirmation I needed that my gaydar worked when it needed to. Yup, she was gay; just about as straight as a rainbow. And with that smile she shot at me, I had a chance! Now if only I could muster up some courage or better yet... “game”.

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“…So THEN this nigga had the NERVE to say ‘If I want you I can have you’. I said nigga please not with them shoes on, looking like a leprechaun, lucky charms ass, end of the rainbow ass midget ass nigga. Boy, bye.” Michele said, finishing up a story she was telling me about some random guy she met at the club.

I laughed hard. “Damn why you gotta go on the nigga like that? Hurting feelings and shit.” I said while grabbing a bite of white cheddar popcorn.

“Gurl, yes! Just like Sweet Brown said, aint nobody got time fo’ dat!” She said in the infamous voice of a famous YouTube character, as we both burst out in pure laughter.

Michele was my best friend. Na, scratch that, she was my sister. This woman had been around for 15 years of my life, from elementary school on. We been through more ups and downs than a roller coaster but we got through each and every one of them together. Blood couldn’t make us any thicker and she  sometimes knew me better than I knew myself. I came to her with absolutely everything and she did the same. Although she was straight, she never let the fact that I’m gay hinder our friendship. She accepted me for me, one of the few people that did, and for that I loved her eternally.

“Well damn... hope his pride aint too shattered with the way u went on them shoes.” I laughed.

“Gurl, he’ll be aight… I just can’t with these bum niggas” Michele said.

“Trueeeeeee. What we doin’ tonight though?” I asked grabbing yet another handful of this addicting popcorn treat and shoved it in my mouth.

“I don’t know. I’m just trynna get drunk tonight!” she said.

“I wanna do some gay shit!” I suggested enthusiastically.

Michele sighed, “Again…? I need to find me a boo thang though!”

“C’monnnnnn Chele! We went to the straight club last weekend. I’m trynna dance on somebody’s daughter! I’ll pay for the drinks” I told her, sweetening the pot.

“Shit, if you payin for the drinks, then AIGHT!” she laughed.

“Well alright then…. YOU driving!” I replied, excited already.

After I got off the phone with Chele, I finished off the rest of the bag of popcorn and made my way to my bedroom to pick out an outfit and get ready for the night. It was a Thursday so every club in the city would be something along the lines of “college night”. I was optimistic. Whenever I went out with Chele, I always had a good time. Shit, maybe I’d even meet someone interesting tonight. The night was filled with infinite possibilities.