Chapter 12

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Two months later

I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants and take a deep breath. I'm standing in the hallway of my school, outside of the auditorium.

"You OK?," mom asks.

"Yeah," I whisper, "I need to do this."

"Alright, let's pray before you go." Mom takes my hand in hers. "God, thank you for this opportunity that Kate has to share her story. Please give her courage and peace to do this. Thank you for what you have done in her life. Amen."

I hug mom one last time before opening the door to the school auditorium. At the front, the school president is talking about mental health week.

"A lot of people deal with mental illness. We don't want anyone in our school to have to face that alone. We have great staff and volunteers here who want to help you." She pauses and smiles at me. "Today we have a special speaker for you to talk about mental health. You might be surprised, because she is actually a student here. Please welcome to the stage, Kate Phillips!"

The students cheer as I make my way up to the stage. My heart pounds. I force what I hope looks like a smile and accept the mic from the president.

"Thank you. As many of you know, I am a student here in grade 11. What you might not know is that for the past 2 years I have struggled with depression. According to statistics, there are many other people here who have the same illness..."

The room is perfectly quiet as I tell my story, from diagnosis to almost killing myself. Through my teary eyes, I can see that I'm not the only one crying.

"I was really scared to come up here and tell you guys this," I admit, "but I had to do it, because everyone needs to know about this. Depression is not your fault and it is a real illness. I felt worthless, but I'm not and neither are you."

I pause, because I'm not allowed to talk about God on stage, but they need to know.

"I'm not allowed to talk about my faith now, but if you want to know about what God did for me, I would love to talk to you later. Anyway, please understand that if you are feeling like I was, don't go it alone. I'm 100% serious when I say that I am here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know.

"When we were like 4 we were taught 911. It's for emergencies, but not just physical ones. If you are suicidal you need to tell someone. Suicidal thoughts are considered a 911 emergency. Get help, if not for your sake, than for the sake of those you leave behind.

"I tell you my story, because when you have depression you feel like you're the only one. You need to know that you're not. You need to know that people care. God cares. You can live again."

Hey everyone!

Writing this story had been a great experience. It has been therapeutic to actually talk about depression. I also really appreciate all your encouragement. It really helps to see that other people understand what it's like.

Please keep in touch, because I plan to start a new story soon.

Have a great day!

Xoxo

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