Loving Jay (boyxboy)

Chapter 1: Development

Oh. My. God. I wanna scream. Really, Jay? Really?! "He's so fucking hot" did I REALLY think that?! I felt like crying.

I just sat there sobbing with no real control. Well, I might as well not avoid it, right? No, wrong. I'm not going to feed in to the possibility of being gay! I can't do it. I buried my face in my pillow and fell into a dreamless sleep.

*****
Saturday

Oh, I just have to tell him, I can't keep these feelings concealed. No matter how hard I try to stop them, I just seem to like him more and more, and I can't stand it. Well, maybe if I just told him it wouldn't hurt. We are friends... I climbed out of bed and disconnected my phone from it's charger. I unlocked it and tapped the blue messenger icon and typed in his name.

I can't believe I'm doing this..

I began typing away.

"Hey". I sent.

"Hiii". He replied, even the extra "i's" were cute coming from him. Ugh.

"I have something to tell you". Here goes nothing.

"Yeeeesss?" Stop being so adorable. I giggled at myself.

"I have a crush on somebody :o!" I sent.

"Who?" Was his immediate reply.

"You can't tell anyone.. >_<" I sent.

"I won't". He replied.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Yes". He replied.

"I have a crush on someone..." I began.

"Whoooooo?" He asked.

"Yooouuuu". I sent. I could practically see my face as red as a cherry.

"Me?" He asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"You're gay?!" He asked in shock.

I am just going to identify as "bi" for now.

"Nope. Bi.." I sent in fear.

"I used to like you too.." He sent. My heart was doing cart wheels. I didn't reply. I just sat there smiling like an idiot. He did? I thought to myself. I deleted the conversation for fear that it would be found. I lied in bed in shock.

I love you, Alex. Was my last thought before I suddenly fell back to sleep.