Obsession (Excruciating pain)

Excruciating pain IV

EXCRUCIATING PAIN IV

A new beginning 

It took me three days to finally admit that Annabelle, my only and true love was dead. After burying her there was nothing left behind except a huge hole inside my heart and a never ending suffering. And in that moment I knew that I would never be the same man without her by my side so I tried to end my solitary existence by killing myself, even if deep down I knew that it wasn’t so easy to die for someone like me because I was a monster, a soulless creature which didn’t deserve to be happy ever again.

That was the thought which brought me to the moment when I made the decision of leaving Anna and Dustin behind and leave towards unknown.

My entire pain and suffering made me who I am today, a man cold as ice and merciless, but powerful as I did everything in my power to focalize my destructive emotions towards that single purpose of becoming almost invincible.

And what other way was there to become more powerful than fighting: fighting for food, fighting for land or fighting for fun. That was the man I became since that awful day when I lost my soul.

“What are you doing here man?” Eric, a young made vampire asked me in complete and utter shock as soon as he found me violently kill a human young man who happened to cross my path.

My feral senses took control over my body as I tightened my hold on my prey emptying it of the last drop of blood.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I asked him, without even bothering to wipe my mouth.

I was becoming the monster of which I always feared the most and what was even worst was that nobody could help me, because the only one who could was no longer breathing.

Anna and Dustin desperately tried to convince me that I was a pureblood and that I couldn’t give such an example to our kind, but I didn’t care at all. I had nothing more to lose and I was ready to piss off whoever crossed my path until there would be someone strong enough to end my suffering.

And yet, I was struggling to live this kind of life since 1835 in vain. People died and the world has changed so much, but unfortunately I was still walking and what was even worst was that I was still caring the same pain I used to feel since her death.

“I’ll come back to you!” she promised right before she died, but even that small insignificant hope died a few decades ago too.

She was never going to come back to me, because she couldn’t do it, despite my suffering, despite my actions and despite my prayers towards unknown gods. There was nothing which could bring her back. She was gone… forever.

These were my thoughts written in the small satin covered book which she loved so much during her stay into my family’s house.

I could still smell her perfume on its pages as I looked towards the small painting boutique from across the café in which I was spending a few hours of complete silence, lost in my memories: the memories of a walking dead.

People all around London were gathered in the center of the city with the single purpose of spending a silent peaceful evening out. Despite the fact that the music was extremely loud, I could close myself so the exterior noises couldn’t distract me at all.

But what caught my attention all of a sudden, making my breath stop was the moment when the old lady of the painting boutique exhibited a small round made portrait of a black haired beauty with eyes like sparkling emeralds. The image of the woman which took my heart away… The image of the woman who stole my soul, leaving me empty, naked of any human emotion I could ever feel.

Annabelle.

Before I knew it, my feet dragged me towards the shop where the old lady was still arranging old looking paintings.

My mind couldn’t register anything else as my eyes simply locked on the beautifully made portrait of the woman I loved more than my own existence.