Forever Love Sick

Infinite Love

Do I really need to tell you how much I love you? Do I need to tell you that every event and every moment is one I want to share with you? It's just instinct now. When the ground crumbles or the sun starts to shine, it's you like it's always been, always mine. I think that I forget that you are a person too. You want things that I can't give to you. You're not just a vault of secrets and secret desire that I can lock up and leave. Still you seem bullet proof like your walls are made of steel. I don't know why it's you. It had nothing to do with the way you act or what you do. It's your brown eyes and the way you never know what to say. It's the way you seem close even though you're floating away. And we may have been a drift for a long time a while ago. But we always fall back into place. I always want you. Why? I'll never know.

Maybe it's your clumsy steps and the way you break my heart like a child innocently breaking a vase. And just like a child, you're too afraid to touch the pieces because you know they'll never come back together. Still these pieces almost seem to come back together when I wrap my arms around you as I cry. You freeze when my cold hands wrap around you because you can feel the steam. The way you bring me back from the cold but you can't handle it. You can't promise to always be there. I know that now. I Know. You watch me with blank eyes and it's like I'm trying to talk to you about quantum physics but I'm just telling you that my world is falling apart and I need you. You sway from foot to foot like you're presenting a project you didn't help make. Deep down I think you know, that your words are cited in the last slides about heart break and fear. I don't mention it.

Still you try to say something, anything because I'm so cold and you want to help. I think. I let you go back after a while. I let you sit alone because that's what you like to do anyway. One last hug and you're gone. The cold stays away until I sit down and I realize that I'm colder than ever now. But I can't expect you to glue back these pieces and promise to stay. Not today. Not ever.