Confessions Of Seventeen

Inferiority Complex

I'm still a girl of Seventeen and a trifle mad. I always talk to myself when I'm under certain circumstances. Nevertheless it doesn't make things go the way I want them to be.

Of course I have never been loved by anyone except my family. I always wanted to tell myself that I doesn't make any sense, but it really makes perfect sense.

I'm not pretty cuz I'm a way too black to be pretty. And I'm not lean cuz my body is filled with unwanted fat layers. And I'm not kind cuz I use to get mad easily at someone. And I'm not so talented cuz the things I do doesn't make any sense. And I'm not tall cuz I have such piggy thighs. And I don't deserve to be loved by someone cuz I'm such an empty bastard.

Do we call this 'underestimating yourself?' Hell no! This is called 'Inferiority complex!!' Of course I'm suffering from that. Still I don't find myself useful to someone except the so called concept, 'Gratification of senses'!

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When I was in school back then, the time when we did our Ordinary level exams, I had a 'gang' . Of course it is okay to call it 'a gang' cuz we did such damn naughty things. My colleagues used to call us 'Super seven' for we were the most brilliant students in our class, or I may say in the whole section.

Whatever the matter was, we always found a way out for everything. Out of my gang members, the one which I loved the most was Anne. She was really a half way mad like me. And she was the only one with whom I could share all the nasty things which came into my mind-Romance or even Sex.

Nevertheless, our popularity didn't lead us to use soldiers' obscenities. We were so formal back then. But none of us choked our feelings. We all knew each other very well starting from the external body to the colour of the underwears and last to the blood groups.

We had so much fun back then. But now that we are grown ups we find our lives to be spent over more fruitful matters than showing the heels to every boy we meet!

I really hate homework of course. And I cursed Mathematics. The only disturbance I had in my educational career was Maths. But now that I'm on my way to do Advance Level exams, I really don't bother about that anymore. And now I'm expecting to fail Maths in the exam I did last.

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-To be continued-