First You Get Hurt, Then You Get Sorry

Memories

Hux was suddenly at his home. His mother standing to the right of his father. He was confused for several moments. Then he remembered giving access to his mind. He wondered if this is how Ben knew, because he had lived the memories over again as Hux watch them. He could feel the light tickle in his mind.

"Son!" The man that was his father towered over him.

"Father-"

"You will call me sir, and nothing else, boy."

He could only nod under the harsh gaze of his parents, he felt humiliated, just as he had as a child. The pain dulled suddenly and he had one thought in his head "Ben."

The room fell apart, not swirled like Ben's had. He raised his fists, the boy before him grinning. "You think you can just run things because your father is important?"

He remembered this fight well. He was about 12, his first years in the academy. His left fist shot out without him even doing it. As if on autopilot. He kept his stance well trained the entire time the boy swung wildly at him. A hard round house kick to the boys face marked him the winner, Hux spit on the ground. He had crumpled his uniform and his hair became disheveled.

"Whoa, are you okay?" The girl who came over had blonde hair. He readied himself for another attack and she put up her hands, "That was some good fighting " She grinned.

He looked down at the boy. "Thank you." His voice was distant, but oh so young, it felt foreign.

"You are Hux's kid, right? Brendol?"

"Please call me Hux." He extended his hand.

She gripped it strongly, "Phasma, just Phasma." He remembered smiling to himself and thinking he would always want her by his side as his equal.

The room actually sprung into a new scene this time.

His commanding officer is standing before him , tall and rigid, yet Hux is taller than him. 6 foot and showing great initiative. "This is Lasky. He'll be working with you." The man is shorter than him and has short choppy brown hair. "Lasky, this is Hux."

"It's a pleasure." The man offers his hand and smiles, he doesn't smile back but does take the hand. If only he had really known.

Hux blinks as if in pain and there they are. In bed together, touching each other and removing clothing.

The scene stops just as it's begun and suddenly he's seeing himself with Lasky. Everything has stopped and Ben is standing next to him. "This memory is painful for you, I can feel it."

"Yes." Is all he gives as an answer.

"Did you love him?"

"I wasn't aloud to." He can't stop staring at the man in the bed with him.

"But did you?" It's more concerned than pushing.

"It gets worse, can we move on? I want to get this over with."

Ben disappears as well as the scene before them. He's now standing in front of Snoke, Lasky is next to him.

"Hux, I have good and bad news for you." The hologram says. "Good news, you are being promoted to General. Congratulation, General Hux."

He feels prideful in that moment, a small smile making its way to his lips, "Thank you, Supreme Leader."

"Bad news, I know of you and Lasky." Hux's heart drops, his smile wiped from his face. "You know what happens when you have connections. This is against the rules of the First Order, General."