Another Way Out Of My Mind

Open Wounds

Dylan sits on the bed, his head propped up with pillows as he played with Jordan's hair, Jordan was taking small bites from an apple that Dylan had begged him to eat.

"You okay?" Dylan asks softly.

"Yea, Actually.." Jordan bites the apple and then looks up at Dylan.

"I'm glad you're eating." Dylan runs his hand through Jordan's hair some more, "Why'd you stop?"

Jordan swallows hard, he shuts his eyes and then he grabs Dylan's leg slightly and sighs a little, "When I was in high school... I got bullied a lot. They made fun of me for being gay... For being fat... I left town. I left my boyfriend. I left my parents, and they supported me so well. I dropped out of school. I needed out, but I still felt pathetic... I am pathetic. I'm gross and fat and ugly and I don't deserve you."

Dylan frowns he turns Jordan and quickly grabs his face in his hands, "Stop it, Jordy."

"It's true, Dyl. I'm not worth this... You'd be so much better off." Jordan frowns.

"Jordan, Shut up. You're fucking beautiful. You're the one thing I love more than myself and that's hard to do... It's hard for me to get over myself, but I do it because I like you. I think you're beautiful. I don't care what you weigh. I see beyond that, When I look into your crystal blue eyes, I see more than that. I see a broken man who suffers to love himself, and because he can't right now, I'm going to do it for him." Dylan nods slowly and leans his forehead against Jordan's.

"You're so special, Dylan. You make me feel good, and I haven't felt that way in a long time. It's not bad to love yourself, Dylan." Jordan whispers softly.

"It is the way I do." Dylan shuts his eyes and sighs.

"Why do you?" Jordan asks quietly.

"My mother was a prostitute... She left me home alone ever since I was four. I didn't go to school.. She was awful to me.. I never had a male role model in my life, I never knew my dad, but I learned a lot living with my mom. I learned I had to love myself, and I did. At least I think I do. I don't know why but when I'm around other people I just get crazy. I start babbling about myself, But I don't love myself. Not really." Dylan shakes his head and a few tears roll down his face.

Jordan wipes the tears from his eyes, he instantly places his lips to Dylan's and wraps his arms around his neck, "I love you so much. I love you so much, Dylan. You're beautiful. You're amazing. You make me feel so good about myself. Maybe I don't love myself right now, but I do love you."

Dylan inhales sharply and looks at Jordan, "I love you too."

Jordan presses his lips back to Dylan's, Dylan grabs Jordan's waist and rolls over on top of him. He breaks the kiss to press his lips to Jordan's neck as he starts tugging the man's pants off.

"You know, Sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to break you." Dylan chuckles softly.

Jordan rolls his eyes and laughs a little, "But I trust you not to."

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Dallas watches as Matty pulls off his shirt, he crawls into the bed beside her and smiles as he looks at her. Dallas smiles, but then it fades a little.

"What's wrong?" Matty instantly frowns.

"Jorel... He told George that I was the one who jumped him." Dallas shakes her head and whimpers.

"What happened?" Matty asks softly.

"I mostly told you. I was 16.. I was curious about sex. I wasn't allowed to leave the house and I had no female friends to talk to. Jorel was over babysitting me, because George didn't trust me I guess... Jorel told me he'd have sex with me. So I agreed to it, because I didn't know what it was like... It hurt, really bad. I cried... I made him stop. He told me it wouldn't be that way every time, and after a while it wasn't so bad, but Jorel got... Rougher. I let him cope, because I figured him hurting me would stop him from hurting himself." Dallas sniffles as tears roll down her cheeks.

"Dallas, Honey." Matty frowns and wraps his arms around her. She bursts into tears.

"Jorel doesn't love me and never did. I never noticed." Dallas cries out.

"But I love you.. At least I think.. I mean I'm not sure what love is and I'm so bad at this, and I know I'm not Jorel, but I love you." Matty whispers and kisses her forehead.

"Matty, I don't know why you like me. I don't get it." Dallas shakes her head.

"Because... I hear.. Things. I see things. I hear things. I'm crazy. I hate it... It's my mom's fault. She use to make me sleep in the closet... And these marks on my chest and arms. She would burn me. She held my head under holy water too. She thought the world was plagued and I was going to be absorbed by demons... I hated her. I was young and scared and I hated my mother. She killed any pet I tried to have... And she killed my father.. She was committed too and I think she's gone forever... But that's okay. Once I started hearing the voices... I hated myself too, but then you came along. You're my reality in all this." Matty whispers.

Dallas gently runs her hands over the scars on Matty's abdomen and arms, she looks into his blue eyes and bites her lip, "I love you too, Matty. I want you to know, I'm real. I will always be real. I won't let anything get you or happen to you. I'm here for you... Always." Dallas whispers and presses her lips to his.

Matty places his hand on her cheek as Dallas rolls over and on top of him. Matty shuts his eyes as Dallas deepens the kiss. He places his hands gently on her sides, but pulls away when he feels Dallas tugging at his jeans.

"What are you doing?" Matty asks as he clears his throat.

"I uh... What do you think?" Dallas swallows hard.

"I've never.... Uh... Had sex." Matty looks up at her.

Dallas bites her lip, "I uh... I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be... Let's uh... Let's try it, tomorrow morning, before breakfast." Matty whispers.

"Are you sure? You don't need to.. I'm not going to make you." Dallas whispers.

"I want to." Matty nods slowly.

Dallas nods and then she lays her head on his chest, she was just as nervous as he was.

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"You never told me why..." Danny mumbles as he looks at Cecily.

"Why what?" Cecily sits up from her original spot on the bed.

"Why you didn't fight off Aron, He's a twig.. You could've taken him.." Danny mutters.

"Because.... I...." Cecily looks down and plays with her hands, "When I was younger... My parents never really showed me any affection. I was sent off.. I finally got the attention I needed until I realized it was the wrong kind of affection."

Danny tilts his head, "What do you mean?"

"They... Touched me.. They did things to me.. I was just a kid but they..." Cecily feels her voice catch in her throat, she starts crying.

Danny clears his throat, he moves quickly to wrap his arms around the poor girl. Cecily shudders and whimpers in his arms, Danny closes his eyes.

"You don't have to continue, I get it." Danny whispers.

"You do?" Cecily looks at him as he wipes her eyes.

"My parents died when I was young. I got sent to live with my uncle. He beat me and raped me. I went days without food or water sometimes... I was passed around his group of friends... I never liked it, so I learned to shut myself off. I'd black out and I wouldn't have to feel anything." Danny whispers as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

"That's why there's three of you?" Cecily wipes her eyes.

"What?" Danny tilts his head and looks at her with a sad expression.

"Nothing. Nothing. I love you." Cecily whispers and lightly presses her lips to his, tears still streaking down her face.

"I love you too." Danny whispers in return and pulls her against himself, "Nothing bad will ever happen to you. I won't let it."

Cecily clings to him tightly, "I won't let you get hurt either... I swear."

Danny grins and kisses her forehead, "It's alright... It's okay. It'll be okay as long as I'm with you."