My Mother's Boss (BoyxBoy) [Polyamory]

Chapter Sixteen

{Chapter Sixteen}

"Jer, I have to tell you something." I state and pull away from him so I can look into his eyes. His golden eyes glance down at me in curiosity.

"What's wrong?" he asks immediately. I sigh and avert my eyes, scooting back a bit on the black couch to distance myself from him in case this doesn't end well. In case Jer reacts like Ian did.

"I need you to promise you won't get mad." I whisper and his eyes widen a bit in shock.

"Why would I get mad?" he questions, reaching out to take my hand in his. I bite my lip nervously and shake my head.

"Just promise." I reply softly. He watches me for a few minutes, his eyes showing his confusion and worry but eventually nods.

"I promise I won't get mad." He assures and I nod. I open my mouth to tell him but my heart begins to race, my palms sweating and a lump forms in my throat.

"I-I." I can't seem to get the words out, I'm so scared he's going to get mad, of course he's going to get mad. Who wouldn't be mad? Hurt, horrified. Disgusted. Just like Ian was.

"Levy, you can tell me anything, you know that." He soothes, running his thumb in circles over the top of my hand. The simple gesture seems to help some because my heart slows a bit and the lump in my throat eases.

"I love you," I state and something passes through his eyes but it's too fast for me to catch. I can however tell that he wants to argue that and I open my mouth to assure him I know what I'm feeling but he speaks before I can.

"How do you know?" he asks, surprising me because I honestly thought he'd argue, tell me I don't know what I'm feeling.

"Because I just know." I reply. I honestly don't know how to even begin to explain how I know I love him, because I can hardly understand it myself. All I know is whenever I'm with him, I'm happy, even when we're not talking––hell, even when I merely think about him––I feel better. He makes me happy, his presence makes me happy. I may not know him completely, and I know I'm young, but I know what love feels like. I know I love him.

"Okay," he says and I stare at him in surprise.

"Okay?" I echo. He shrugs and a smile slips on his face, making me relax a bit.

"I'm glad you feel that way, as long as you're sure about what you feel." He adds and I nod because I am sure. I know I love him, and even though it hurts I love Ian too. God, how did my life get this messed up?

I shake those thoughts away though and instead focus on what I was supposed to be telling Jer. I mean, I had to tell him that I love him but that's not what I wanted to tell him in the first place.

"There's something else." I mutter and he tilts his head to the side in confusion. Something passes through his eyes again but once more it's too fast for me to catch, however I swear it was something like, panic.

"What else?" he asks. I sigh and bite my lip again as I think of the best way to tell him. The best way to tell him so he won't get mad at me, if that's even possible.

"I am––well was––in a relationship. His name was Ian but that doesn't really matter. What matters is I love him too, and I know it's not fair of you to ask this but I can't choose who to stay with. I mean, I doubt it actually even matters now though because he's mad at me for telling him about my feelings for you and he broke up with me and only a crazy person would want to have this kind of relationship. Right?" I muse with a small but humorless laugh. Jer stares at me for the longest time, his eyes seeming guarded. I begin to panic because I can't tell if he's mad, surprised, hurt.