I Have These Thoughts So Often

A poem by Stephen Chbosky

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

                         A boy wrote a poem and he called it "Chops

Because that was the name of his dog

                         And that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him and A and a gold star

                         And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and

Read it to all his aunts

                       That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

                      And his little sister was born

With tiny toenails and no hair

                     And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a

                   Valentine signed with a row of X's

And he had to ask his father what the X's meant

                  And his father always tucked him in bed at night

And was always there to do it

                  Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

He wrote a poem and he called it "Autumn"

                    Because that was the season and that's what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

                And asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

               Because of its new paint

That was the year his sister got glasses

              With thick lenses and black frames

And the girl around the corner laughed

              When he asked her to go see Santa Claus

Once on a paper torn from his notebook

               He wrote a poem

And he called it "Innocence: A Question"

                 Because that was the question about his girl

And that's what it was all about

                  And his professor gave him an A

And a strange steady look

                And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

Because he never showed her

                That was the year Father Tracy died

And he forgot how the end of the Apostle's Creed went

                 And he caught his sister making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed

                 Or even talked

And the girl around the corner wore too much makeup

                 That made him cough when he kissed her

But he kissed her anyway

                  Because that was the thing to do

And at three a.m. he tucked himself in

                 His father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag

                He tried another poem

And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"

                Because that's what it was really all about

And he gave himself an A

             And a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door because this time

             He didn't think he could make it to the kitchen

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