Toxic {COMPLETED} EDITING

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I make my way out of the bathroom, with this weird chilling rush, down my spine.

I shake it off, as I make my way out of the bathroom and down the hall to see that Gerard is no where in sight.

I feel myself frown, as I go to my locker to gather my back pack and head to Bert's.

I hated this awful feeling of knowing what's to come, even though as hard as you wish for it not to happen, you know that it isn't possible.

As I walk along the empty sidewalk to Bert's house, I feel this awkward feeling that I am being followed.

But no matter how many times I turn around, no one is there.

I am getting crazier by the minute.

Maybe I should start working on my 'crazy' laugh.

My thoughts are snapped a side, as I stand in front of the door, belonging to Bert. My horrible 'boyfriend'.

I feel the breeze buzz pass me and it feels as if it is hugging me, in a tight, flowing but some what warm embrace.

I smile contently to myself as I walk into the house and still feel the 'hug' around me.

Now I am truly crazy... the wind freaking hugged me and I still feel it in my house.

I set my backpack down by the door and shrug off my jacket, and the 'warm hug', seems to leave after that. Maybe it was just the old hoodies feeling, being that the hoodie has probably been in the bottom of my locker for most of the year.

I go to the fridge, to see that there is no food in it, and I repeat the steps for the cupboards. Finding no food of any kind. Just a couple cups, plates, and bowls. And handful of miscellaneous silverware... well plasticware, I guess, because they sure as heck aren't silver or even metal.. they are the cheap white plastic-ware...

Doesn't matter there is nothing to eat.

And by nothing, I really, truly mean nothing.

Well, guess I will starve, again.

What is this day 456? Yep... seems like a good guess to me...

I think that is a pretty good guess as to how long I have been with Bert.

I will try to eat whatever the cafeteria has... but it will be gross, I know it, but it will be better then nothing.. I guess.

I hear the front door slam open and mumbling that sounds like my name and I whimper quietly as I go face him.

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After the joyus 'date', I had with Bert, I drug myself, out the door with my backpack and hoodie in my arms.

I don't cry.

I never cry.

Because I am numb to the pain he brings me.

I walk sorely to the graveyard about a block away from Bert's house.

I still feel like someone is following me, but I don't bother to turn and look for the 100th time, because I know that no one is there.

I push open the rusting and creaking gates, and make my way to my favorite section, with my favorite dead people and their fascinating tombstones, each person having their own unique story. I make my way to own of my favorite 'people' to 'talk' to.

Her name is Elena Way.
On her tombstone it says when she was born and when she passed, but it's worn off and I really don't care how long ago it was, She just made me feel safe. Even though she is not really there, but maybe her spirt is.

There is also a saying on here tombstone.

"So long and goodnight."

I can't help but link it to a song I overheard from some ones house a couple down from Bert's.

I hum it to myself every once in a while, when I am feeling down.

I remember some of the lyrics in head.

"What's the worse thing that I can say,
Things are better if I stay,
So long and goodnight,
So long and good night"

Well if you carry on this way,
Things are better if I stay,
So long and goodnight.
So long and goodnight."

There was more but I can't remember it for the life of me...I wish I did though, it was a really good song.

I sit down next to her grave, leaning my side against her stone, as I talk about my day and what happened with Bert and I was a sobbing mess.

But I continue talking to her.

"So like, I was saying Elena, Everytime I come here and read your stone, I can't help but think about a song I heard, once when I was roaming the pretty scary and dangerous streets of Jersey at night. But don't worry, I was only like 4 houses down from min- well Bert's but he is just awful, but anyway, I am sorry if you think I am a creeper, but I heard this amazingly beautiful song, and I can't get it out of my head and I remember it even more when I look at your tombstone." I say, to her quietly, while gently grazing my fingertips over the words the stone. "I am going to sing it to you, but I only remember the one part, and it isn't my song but I need to tell someone about it, or I am going to implode." I say, chuckling to myself before clearing my throat to sing the words I can't seem to forget.

"What's the worse thing that I can say,
Things are better if I stay,
So long and goodnight,
So long and good night"

Well if you carry on this way,
Things are better if I stay,
So long and goodnight.
So long and goodnight."

"You see, Elena, it really is a good song. I just- I just wish I was good at something." I say before crying much harder as I put my face in my knees that are pulled up into my chest.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up.

But through my blurred vision I saw a figure lure over me.

I quickly wipe my eyes. And see that is only Gerard. He has seen me cry before, so eh, I don't care.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, quite confused. "And how did you find me."

"Oh, Frankie, I didn't really mean to find you, but I just have two questions to ask you." I nod waiting for him to ask me them.

"Why are you talking to my deceased grandmother and Why are you singing my song?"
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