Little Things

Not An Idea

Sometimes, I wonder if I weren't who I am today. I wonder if I had been born somewhere else, been someone else's child. I wonder if I didn't have my life. If I hadn't been able to do all the things that I can and am doing now. Who would be my parents, who would be my siblings? There. That's right where the thought ends, because I know if I start thinking about it more, I'm going to be traumatised by just wondering if she wouldn't have been in my life.
Most people say, that this person saved me when they came into my life, that person saved me. And yeah, the said person does save them, in their own way of loving and whatever. I, thankfully, was not in need of saving. Oh, but I was so blissfully ignorant. I didn't know how much I needed her to save me. To save me from all the atrocities, to save me from all the bad things in life, to save me from falling in love with someone else, other than her own blessed self. She is so different. I still haven't figured her out, and I don't think I ever will. She is such a bold, beautiful soul. And she has no idea. She has no idea how she had managed to grasp my heartstrings with both her hands, and how she has been strumming on them, playing beautiful chords, since the beginning. She has no idea how her every little gesture sends me over the edge. She will never know how much the way her eyes sparkle, or the way she speaks, or the way she playfully runs around the house, or the way her meaningless jokes that she cracks at the most inappropriate times mean to me. She has no idea. No idea.