Gallantry and Hesitation (A Final Fantasy Tactics fanfiction)

Prologue

Prologue

            “The transition wasn’t as smooth as you’d hope for, was it Xavier?”

            She had her blade pointed down, pricking my neck with the tip of cold steel. It would take a considerable amount of force to cut through the gray chain mesh protecting my outer hide, but I knew I had trained her well. I drew a heavy sigh, followed by a burst of pink liquid spewed out of my mouth, from my lungs, no less; my smashed armor was crushing my rib cage, making it a struggle to breathe, and with my lungs filling with blood, it was more than I could bear. I was now at her mercy, my own technique used against me. It wasn’t power—it was love.

            Rain was coming down through the opened ceiling of the broken down castle. Beads of water pattered down on my forehead, mixing with the sweat and tears on my face. I looked up at her, and groaned through the pain that enveloped my battle-racked body.

            “W-what does it matter… how the transition went? I did it for a reason…”

            The blade pressed further through the chain mail into my skin.

            “And you failed. You not only failed the transition… you failed yourself.”

            Her words pierced my soul. More painful than the tip of her weapon; it was more like poison, if anything. I did not fail myself… I did not fail myself. I reached over and grabbed her sword, the blade slicing into my hand as I proceeded to use all of my strength to peel the dark knight’s weapon away from my vulnerability, and push her away from me with a tremendous force, that I didn’t even knew I still had it left in me. She flew back as I caught her off guard, stumbling over her heavy armor and eventually tripping over onto her knees and losing her sword, tumbling about twelve feet away from her. My adrenaline was not enough to fight the pain that flared in my entire body, but I reached for my own weapon for self defense. With a sloppy grip, I lurched forward my attacker to subdue her, but I was unable to even take a step forward; I fell to my knees as well.

            I am weak. I can’t continue. I can’t do this.

            I made an attempt to conjure a Cure spell with what little mana I had left to allow myself to stand on my feet, but with the amount of pink and red liquid coming through my throat and onto the ground made it absolutely impossible to form a coherent verbal enchantment. I looked over, my vision hazier than a Marlboro’s bad breath, and I saw her stagger to her own feet and reach for Deathbringer.

            It was now or never, Xavier! She had reached her weapon, and got up all in one lightning quick movement, charging me while I was still down. I tried to again articulate some healing, but before I was allowed to even breathe, she unleashed a kick that sprawled me onto my back. I snarled in pain from the impact, and hissed even more as I landed face up. With another quick motion, I watched her blade plunge downward in time with the falling rain toward my eyes. With labored movement, I slid out of the way in time to avoid losing my vision, and lurched to my feet again. She swung her blade at my back, steel upon steel ringing far into the quiet darkness, and I stumbled a few feet, barely maintaining balance. I whirled around and raised my own blade to put up somewhat of a fight.

            “Stop! Think… think of what you’re doing!!” I implored with her. The pain in my right hand was insufferable, blood dripping out onto the grip of my weapon. My hands shook from the immense pain my entire body was enveloped in, and I felt myself swaying from all the loss of energy. The dark knight who stood not even ten feet away noticed the tip of my blade shake and quiver with my weakness. She smiled a sly smirk that would chill even the toughest of warriors. She knew she had me beat; at my own game; with my own abilities. Choosing to become a Holy Knight wasn’t the best idea, like she said, as the transition between Darkness and Light was an utter failure. I was a false prophet in the land of virtue.

            I still had darkness in my heart; one thousand souls fallen and taken by my hand as a Dark Knight, and I couldn’t step away from that. I knew it, and so did she.

            “You’re finished, Xavier. This is where the knight falls by his own path.” The slender knight began to chant with a low monotone, and began to glow a bright purple. The spell opened up a mantric sigil circle below her, and even though I was fading in and out of consciousness, I recognized all the signs of the spell I once taught her; Souleater. To my bewilderment, she then stopped to recite Ajora Scripture, to metaphorically put a nail in my coffin:

“When Belias saw that his teachings were not followed, he saddled his steed and went off home to his castle in the city of Lesalia. He stood upon his throne and hanged himself, and he died. Because of this, Belias was known not for his deeds in life, but for his failures upon death.”

            “This is your fate, Xavier!! You have failed yourself, your kingdom, you even…” She trailed off from her original vigor with a sharp frown with tears, followed by the completion of Souleater and a heartbreaking cry.

            “…YOU FAILED ME!!”