Just Forget The World//Phan au

Chapter 7: The Only Person Hurt Is Me

~Chapter 7 already?! Dear Llama Gods above~

Phil's POV:

It was the first night with him. I didn't know what time he woke up but from what he had told me, he was a late sleeper. The landlord was coming in to give Dan his keys so I had to be up any way.

My phone read 4:00, okay, so I was early but I had to do this. It had to be done. If I got it done early, the fact that what I did would disappear with the moon and the sun would rise and everything could start again.

I still would've done it though.

There's no hiding that.

My mind was racing. I could either wait for him to wake up and come clean with telling him myself or giving him the letter or I could get rid of the letter and all he would ever know is that me and Ally were dating, we broke up or were on a break, the photo wasn't posted by me and that's the end of it.

'Hey, Phil?'

"Argh! Who's there." I shouted out loud.

I was hearing voices, was this how low I had gone?

'Dan still knows you have the letter.'

"Shut up, if I get rid of it, he will forget in time."

'No he won't'

"Yes, he will!" I know I was shouting but I had to keep my voice down. Dan was asleep in the lounge because the moving van guys said it got too late to deliver.

'Okay, you need to be so careful about the actions you make because 1. Dan has not forgot about the letter and you know it; so stop denying it. 2. You haven't answered the question of why you never told him you and Ally were dating and believe me, it's on his mind. 3. The man came out to you for god's sake, you owe him something and lastly, 4. You know that thing that happened to you 3 years ago, well, news flash, it's not good to keep stuff like that bottled up inside. Whatever you do, don't get rid of that letter.'

I buried my head in my lap, racking my brain for answers to what I should do.

I could get rid of the letter and forget about this but know that Dan possibly still hasn't gotten over the fact I didn't reveal my relationship to him or I could give him the letter and risk him getting upset with me.

'He's my best friend so he couldn't get mad or upset...or could he'

Urg, this wasn't fair. This was torture, abuse, whatever it was it was because of a stupid decision I had to make. Forget it, I was doing it. I had had enough.

I slid out of bed and grabbed my coat and put on my vans. I flinched when my coat made a ruffling noise when I put it on. I couldn't wake Dan up, I had to do this without him or anyone knowing.

I stuffed the letter in my coat pocket and grabbed the keys, clutching them in my palms to avoid them jingling about.

I tiptoed down the steps and went for the door. I got outside and felt the cold air on my skin. It had been snowing which was probably the reason for the fact the pavement was quite slippery.

I went round back to the bins and took the letter out. I pressed my forehead to it as I was saying a mental goodbye to my greatest secrets and my lowest of times. I went for the first tear when-

"Phil! Don't. Please."

I almost thought that was my brain talking to me and if it was, I would've ignored it but this was different. I turned around to see Dan in a hoodie and black tracksuit bottoms and his sneakers. His hair was bed ridden and his eyes were droopy. He bared a resemblance to a mix between L and Light from Deathnote. He may've looked tired but the expression on his face represented anger as he walked towards me, tensing his fists.