Just Forget The World//Phan au

Chapter 8: This Is Where It Ends, This Is Where It Starts

"Because I wasn't in love with her, Dan." I said to him. "She wasn't the person I was in love with and she isn't the person I'm in love with now."

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Phil's POV:

"So, who are you in love with?"

I raised my finger and prodded his chest helplessly. It felt weird to say to your best friend 'I'm in love with you' but I had to get used to the fact that that's how it was. And we all know what happened when I tried to hide my feelings for someone. People got hurt. More importantly, people I loved got hurt.

Dan chuckled, putting his hand on his chest where I had poked it. His chuckle turned into a weak, sad frown as he looked down, rememembing everything that had happened with us.

"We ended things so bluntly last night," He told me. "That is not how I wanted it to go."

"What? When you told me you were gay?"

"Don't say it!" He exclaimed throwing his arms in the air only to rest them behind his head.

"There is nothing wrong with being gay, Dan." I walked forward and forced his hands down so I could hold them in mine. I felt bad for making him have this conversation in the freezing cold, at 4 in the morning.

"But still, after I told you everything, we left it so bluntly. You asked me if there were any guys I liked and when I said 'no', you seemed disappointed, almost."

"I was hung up on the letter, Dan. I have liked you ever since we started Skyping. I've been planning this from the get-go. I always knew I was going to break up with Ally, I just didn't quite know when. I always knew you and Holly were going to break up. I knew you weren't happy. I knew everything, Dan. Heck, I knew you were gay. I don't make miracles. I just predict events."

"You're magical, Philip Lester." He told me, inching closer, our lips centimetres apart.

"I'm really not."

"Don't say that." He insisted, the tips of our noses almost touching.

"I'm not magical. I'm just a guy who is in love with his best friend and obviously is the only one who holds these feelings."

"Wait, no! Back the fuck up! Who said I didn't like you. You have just told me you like me and you haven't even given me a chance to say what I want. When you asked me if I liked someone, I said 'no'. I lied to you the first time, Philip." He chuckled, stepping back, being the over dramatic guy he was. This was who I had fallen for, I had no regrets.

"Wait, wait, wait." I began. Dan cocked an eyebrow, full well knowing the realisation I had made. "You like me?"

"Come here." I didn't have time to react. Dan had already taken the leap and before I knew it, I was up against an alley wall with Dan's lips touching mine and his fingers running through my raven hair. We didn't even dare to part away from each other. We had made each other wait so long and now, this was the reaction. I kept my hands on his waist and he kept his placed on the wall, the cold brick wall which my back was pressed up against. I felt warmth in the pit of my stomach from the overall love I was wrapped up in.

Dan pulled away to breathe. His eyes caught mine. His crooked smile plastered on his face, his chocolate eyes standing out. He put his hand on my cheek and rubbed it gently.

"You went through shit for me." He mumbled. I heard him say it but I wanted him to say it again.

"I didn't hear you."

"I said, you went through shit for me." He repeated.

He said it.

Dan Howell said it.

Never had a sentenced summed up any relationship I had been in.

He took his hands from off the wall behind me and pressed them on mine, which were wrapped tightly around his waist. He lent in for one more kiss before saying "Let's go in now."

We walked back to the apartment, together, his arm sling over my shoulder, my neck resting deep in his.

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Dan's POV:

My fingers gripped the covers that kept me warm through the cold morning. I turned over expecting to see black hair or at least the face I had come to love, except I was greeted with an empty bed.

'He must've gotten up'

I pulled myself from my slumber and walked into the hallway, rubbing my eyes. I didn't miss Wokingham at all. London was the place to be. Everything felt so right.

I saw Phil in the kitchen making coffee.

"Hey." I greeted him, holding the 'ey' part for a few seconds longer.

"Hello." He replied back in a funny voice.

I kissed him quickly on the lips before pushing myself up on the counter and opening cupboards trying to find the one that contained mugs.

"Dan, you can't come in my house and go through my cupboards."

"Uh-uh," I waggled a finger in his face. "Our house."

He rolled his eyes at the word 'our' but I knew that if he could get used to me, he could get used to 'our'.

I tried to ignore the elephant in the room but it was impossible. We both knew what happened in the early hours of the morning ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) We were both there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Who was gonna bring it up?

"Did you enjoy your morning?" He blurted out.

Oh.

He was going to bring it up.

"To be honest, it felt right."

Phil nodded, smiling.

"Landlord guy came. Your bed and desk will get delivered soon." He said.

"That's cool. What are we gonna do today."

"I think we need to make a video together." He suggested. I probably shouldn't of asked him, but I needed to.

"Ph-phil?"

"Yes?"

"Should we tell our viewers that we're together?" I mumbled.

"Or...we keep them guessing." He smiled.

"I like the sound of that." I laughed.

"Yes, me too."