In this moment I wish to commit the very sin of suicide. The word itself is heavy on my mother's tongue, even after my two hospital visits.
In this moment I wish to starve myself to the point of near exhaustion, to break and bend myself to my own authority.
In this moment I wish for 1,000 razor blades to make 1,000 cuts, deep and cavernous, scattering and littering my body with words, phrases, puzzles, and rhymes.
In this moment I wish to contemplate who I am, because I know that by the end of it I will be restless, agitated, and I will cry until the day breaks.
In this moment I wish to take my lover by the hand and make them watch me hurt myself. For attention; for attention. For nothing more than the selfish act of attention.
In this moment I wish to cut out my tongue so I may no longer lie, abuse, and manipulate the innocent ones around me.
In this moment my disorder has control.
In this moment I am not myself.
In this moment I have frozen time.
And in this moment I unfreeze time.
Because all it is...is in this moment. Nothing more, nothing less. You want it in the moment, but do you really want it forever? Do you want death forever...or do you just want it
in
this
moment?
YOU ARE READING
Lotuslands All Die (A Collection)
Short StoryJust as the title says, this booklet is a collection of poems and short stories I have written and wish to publish to my devoted followers. Please comment or let me know how you felt about any of my works--it is greatly appreciated!
