Mentally Disturbed

Chapter Thirteen

Arnold

I used to think that I should never raise my hopes up because it's usually so easily crushed down. I used to rely on nothing because nothing could lead to long lasting happiness. I used to think that nothing could make me happy again. But Annabelle, she did make things better for me.

I was carrying her in my arms the best I could as I ran back towards the hospital. Nurses were already rushing to the front door when they saw us.

"She just fainted. She hasn't been eating." I explained to the nurses, with heavy breaths slipping through my mouth. They just nodded and helped me place her onto a hospital cart where they soon led her to the Emergency Room.

"Are you her relative?" A nurse asked.

"No, uh, I'm just a friend. We're actually from the psychiatric unit upstairs."

"Oh, I see. Well you need to go back up there. We'll send word to you when she better." Then she just pushed me toward the elevator like I'm some unwanted child; a pest. Like I had nothing to do with Annabelle. It made me boil inside.

"Escort this young boy to the psychiatric unit, please." She said to a security guard. He looked at me like I was some dangerous person and led me into the elevator.

After a minute of silence I asked him "Do you have a wife?"

"Yes I do." he answered.

"Do you love her?"

"Of course."

"That's how I feel towards Annabelle. I care for her a lot. I hope she's okay. Do you know how it feels to have someone you care for, lose the sense of life right in front of you?"

He cleared his throat and started to fumble with words. Of course he couldn't explain how it feels, because as I'm feeling it right now, I can't even put it into words.

"I'm sure she'll be okay. As long as you take good care of her as much as you really love her." was all he said.

"Thanks."

We reached my floor and I got off the elevator, and he didn't follow.

"Take care, kid. And try not to sneak out again. Here is the safest place you could ever be." he advised me, before closing the elevator door and traveled back down.

I was left alone again, without Annabelle.

*

As I started pacing in my room, I started to think that this was all my fault, for not being able to take care of her. For not being able to help her improve her health.

I started feeling this pang of guilt within me and I hated myself even more. I could never take care of anything I had. I don't deserve to have anything of my own because I can never preserve it. The same way I could never deserve Annabelle, the same way I do not deserve to even live.

I started breathing heavy breaths as I tried to channel my anger into breathing in and out. However it's not working so well. I ran around my room and started punching my pillows and screaming into them. It couldn't help because I felt so defeated. Pillows can't feel pain. And I sometime feel like a pillow, receiving blows and punches, feeling the contact, but still numb.

Tears slowly started emerging from my eyes as I thought about never seeing Annabelle again. What if they locked her up? Away from me? What if they considered me a bad influence and forbid us to see each other again. What if they transferred her to some other horrible facility and she becomes even more miserable over there?

Arnold you need to stop over-reacting.

I tried my utmost best to calm down, and to patiently wait for someone to summon me. The nurse said that when Annabelle is better, she'll send notice to me.

I took that as a promise.

So I'll wait.

And if that nurse breaks that promise, I'll be coming after her. I've already memorized her face, her uniform, and which station in the hospital she is positioned at. She must not break her promise.

I sat on the floor barefoot as I rocked back and forth. I stared at the clock, listening to the silent tick-tocks. Waiting. Waiting and waiting and waiting. Perhaps Annabelle will awake soon. But a voice in my head said PERHAPS ANNABELLE WONT AWAKE AT ALL.

MAYBE SHE'S DONE.

AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

YOU SCREW EVERYTHING UP, ARNOLD!

SHE NEVER LOVED YOU.

I screamed at the thoughts and ran straight to the psychiatrists office.

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I'm backkkkkkk with yet no talent for writing but here's the update!