blues

3:25 pm

3:25 pm

ps: wag pansinin ang mga mali. tamad ako magproofread haha

I wonder how it would be had things gone the other way. It has been more than two months since then.

Then.

She was with me, like how we were always together. Only on that day, she was unusually quiet and tensed. Bea, who was usually the goofball and my favorite cause of annoyance, was a stranger to me.

So before she walked me to my room like how she always had and gave me a good night hug like how she always would, I caught her hand and asked her what was bothering her.

Her lips tried to smile but her eyes betrayed her. Bea was not okay so I did what she would always do to me whenever I feel the same. I took her 5'11 frame in my arms and let my big girl rest her chin on the top of my head, feeling her close and vulnerable against me.

"Thank you, Ji." She said before she kissed my hair. "I will tell you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Good night?"

"Good night." She said but still she did not let go. "I should be letting you go now, right?"

"I don't mind." I told her. I liked hugging her and I liked being hugged by her.

"You do." Bea pushed herself away still from me and gave me the sad grin.

The next day, Bea told me she was in love with me.

She was in love with me, she admitted. I wonder if I would not lose her if only I managed to say something after. Maybe a 'thank you'. Or something. Hindi ko alam.

But I said nothing. Because I was not asked a question, and even if I was, I would have said the same thing- nothing.

Because Bea was not supposed to say those words. Because she was not supposed to feel that way. She was not supposed to be that brave. She was my Bea, for heaven's sake. She was always scared. She would freak out the second she saw blood. The lamest horror films would keep her awake at night and often, mangg-gising pa siya. She was never the bravest one-- my Bea could not be that brave admitting her feelings but still, she did. And I did not say anything. And I realized that I was not even half as brave as Bea.

*

Series of soft thuds echoed inside the gym as the volleyball landed on the floor after my attempt to set the ball for Bea. The hit was wrong, na naman.

"You two!" Coach Tai gave us a variation of his glares. He was shaking his head and was in obvious frustration. "Always wrong, you two! Focus!"

"Sorry, Coach. My fault." Bea rolled her shirt sleeves and apologized to our coach and our teammates, for the eighth time tonight. I knew because each one of her errors came from my quick plays. We've been having this kind of problems sa communication. We kept our teammates status for the longest time pero minsan, our conflict becomes so apparent.

I was waiting for her to look at me and tell me what was wrong but it never happened. I waited as if I did not know, as if I had no idea why she was avoiding me when truth be told, ever since that night, iniiwasan na niya ako.

"Let's go, Jia..." She whispered but she never looked.

The scrimmage went on with our team winning over Ate Aly's. After a quick conference with our coach, the rookies were tasked to fix the equipment and mop the floor while most headed straight to the lockers and some had to be consulted by the team PT.