Paintbox

Noughts and crosses

I'm at peace with my body
But still in battle with its existing flaws.

I know that I'm fine
But yet I still nitpick all the time.
I'm playing a futile game of noughts and crosses.

Crossing out food.
Circling makeup.
Crossing out flaws.
Circling them again.

I'm playing monopoly with cheekbones.
Trading in lunch for hollowed out skin.
Even though I know that beauty does come from within.

Hangman with beauty brands
Guessing the next trend
And wishing I could use it blend
My insecurities out so they'd be less prevalent in my daily life.

Surgeon simulator with my structure,
Trying to make the perfect body
By working out where the dotted lines should fall
recoiling as I feel small
Because I don't know who I want to be anymore

I don't want to play board games anymore
And yet I still find myself knocking on image's door
With a new game in tow
Or an old classic to revisit
It's a habit
That I can't kick.

21.3.16