Queen Pin

How We Gone Do This?

I stood there and watched Queen's car pull off down the street. I stared at the car so long, it had turned into a pea sized object. I turned around and started walking to my car thinking about this ride home. I just knew I was bound to run into some shit cause Vanessa was on one. I was pissed cause I was in this shit and even more pissed cause I did this to myself. Had I just left Vanessa where she was at, this wouldn't even be happening. I unlocked my door started the car and raced out of the parking lot. I hit highway 80 and made my way to my other house. Honestly, I couldn't deal with Vanessa right now. 

I made it to Terrell city in about 20 minutes going 80 miles. I took the back road and dipped down a few streets until I got to what they call the "White Side" of Terrell.   It was just a town so small, everybody knew everybody on a first and last name basis. But nobody knew me, and that's just how I would like to keep it. Pulling up to my house in a short amount of time I parked in the garage and made my way in. I'm rarely here so I had to readjust my thermostat. Making my away into the living room, I flicked through a few channels before settling for NBA highlights. 

Just as I was about to doze off, I heard banging on my front door. I got up and retrieved my .45 from under the cushion on my couch and made my way the door. Not really knowing who it was because nobody knew I had this house, besides Queen of course. As I was preparing to cock the gun back, a loud pounding started at the door. Then I heard who it was.

"Carlos, you dirty muthafucka, I know you in there. Open this fucking door right now. And if that BITCH is in there, I got the right mind to kill you both. Now OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR"

I really could't do anything but just drop my head and make my way to open the door. I didn't wanna argue, but I also didn't this crazy ass woman bringing any unwanted attention to me. I unlocked the door then opened it and this bitch damn near fell through the door from how hard she was on it. It took everything in me not to laugh but the sight of her practically spilling through the door was damn near unbearable. 

"What is it right now?" I know I was being an asshole seeing as how she'd just got her ass beat but I couldn't help it. 

"This how we doing it now C? Huh? After everything I've done for you, you just do me like that. Like you really left me out there. I can't believe you right now."

"Yea well believe me when I say that I'm tired as we are speaking and i would really love some sleep, so I'm going to head up to my room and you can let yourself out." She had this look of disbelief on her face. I gotta say, I know this shit was my fault cause I had messed around and fucked Vanessa and that's why I'm treating her this way now. I'm mad at myself for doing what I did knowing how serious Queen was. But watching Vanessa cry made me realize why I fell for her in the first place. No other woman had come close to loving me as good as Queen but Vanessa came real close to comparison. But I know she's not for me And I'm not for her. I just hope she can see that. "Look ma, I'm not trying to come off as harsh or nothing like that. I'm just as fucked up as you are right now about everything." She just kept crying so i knew i was going to have to go to work with this one. 

"Come here Nessa." She walked over to me and I picked her up and carried her to the couch. I sat her down and went to get some ice, Tylenol, and a heating pad. I knew her body was probably tired but it may be even more tired after this conversation so I just wanna help her relax before hand. "Nessa We need to talk", I said once i got her all situated.

Vanessa P.O.V

"I was just about to say the same thing, but can I start it off? If you don't mind?" I threw my hands up in surrender and i let her take the floor. 

"Its just sometimes you make me feel like you'd rather be somewhere else other than with me. And i understand there's stuff you have to do but even when you don't you make stuff to do just so you can leave. or at least that's how I feel. Your mind tends to be other places and once again, even though i know what you do, i know its deeper than that. You make me feel some type of way even when i try to make you feel better. And I've sat in here so many days thinking like what did i do to deserve this? Its almost like you punish me for being something I don't know how to be. All this time I really thought it was something I was lacking and I had to realize that it's not me that's lacking. you want me to just know what to do in this life style and to be honest i don't. i don't know how to hold my composure at times. i can't hold my emotions and be on ice. I'm not Queen.