Audacity of Emotions

Middle age crisis

As she set her cashmere coat on her well polished  mahogany coffee table  back at her home,the events of the day played in her head for the umpteenth time. She saw the faces of the two boys again.  They did look well maintained but there was a distant look on their faces. One that she was familiar with.
She gave up her two sons so she could find her way up in the patriarchal  society. She fought  the battle that even nature itself accepted defeat. Status quo  favoured  men by all means but she never felt beat, she fought the war so hard she proved her imaginary steel balls . She was a big shot but her heart was plunged.  She felt solely empty and goofy.  She was missing something,something which its scent was very familiar. 
And then suddenly she knew what it was.  Suddenly she felt the urge to fill up her heart. To satisfy the emptiness.  She wanted to reach out for it at once.
It was the good once-upon-a-time privilege she enjoyed before she all gave it up for greed 's sake.
She wanted to be a mother again. She ran away from her two sons at a time they badly needed her  and now she suddenly wanted to be with them.
They seemed so happy under the care of their nanny. Her ex husband must have been a good dad she thought.
He crossed her mind and she could feel her eyes twitch.
The pit of her stomach leapt with desperation.  The pungs of loneliness embraced her real tight. She was rich with all kind of materialistic stuff but she was poor at heart.
She badly craved for her childrens' love but she could not turn back the clock..
It was too late to win their hearts again. Her husband, ex husband was a distant need she badly wanted again but that was gone too.
She sulked into her thoughts and she allowed sadness to eat her up. She knew in a couple of days,she would be nothing but a frame of her former self.