AUDACITY OF EMOTIONS

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The guilt of what he was about to do shook him. He knew the weight and the impact it would have but that was the least of his concern. He wanted to free his spirit. He wanted to protect his principal. His so long rule that he passed when he witnessed all his families fall apart. His two siblings were no more. One was ran over by a huge transit truck one chilly morning as he went about his usual hawking business. His beautiful sister got married at a tender age. His father sold her off(that is how he pictured ) because the dowry was too good to turn down. An old man in his late 50s walked in with $100 and two heads of goats which died instantly when the huge famine hit. The $100 bought them a small piece of land where they carried out all their home based cultivations.
His childhood memories was a bundle of bitterness. He hated his parents so much because he always held them guilty for exploiting his siblings.
He vowed to work so hard. And everytime he lay abit to rest. He could smell poverty which made him spring out of bed and hit his mutton to work. He did all kinds of work without bargaining. It payed off because he could afford anything now. And just when he thought life was a bed of roses,his wife announced the anguish of carrying a 3 weeks old baby in her womb. That was the least he needed. He felt betrayed because she broke their agreement of a-baby-free-marriage.
What if he died and his children ended up being throat slit by a transit truck. What if the baby took away the affection of his wife. What if his daughter ended up in an old man's arms and die of haemorrhage due to giving birth.
His fears were too vivid from his childhood. A trauma that made him hate his parents. A trauma that made him work hard so he could enjoy the feeling of richness without being committed to tiny tiny souls.

And now what! She was pregnant and refused abortion at all costs. For a moment he felt his fears were confirmed but he refused to accept the situation. He wanted her to take and abortion but she refused. They both stood their grounds and this made him so angry. And after a long consultation with his inner non-compromising self,he decided to let go his 5 years of marriage .
He saw her walk through the door looking so pale and grief stricken. He hoped she would fall into his arms and say ' i have changed my mind and I will save our marriage ' but all she did was look him in the eye as she took the seat next to him. The silence of the house went unebated .
She stood to go upstairs but he swiftly got up and stopped her.

"I give you the last toss of the coin before we spoil the party for ourselves. ..."
She held up her hand to cut short his words.

She turned to him sharply
"I am not taking an abortion, and whether you like it or not,I have decided to keep it. I am ready to risk anything for the sake of the child...that's my final decision, you can do whatever that soothes your heartless soul"

He stood up to his full height and hugged her,moved more closer to her ears and said the three deadly words...." I divorce you"
He let her go and stood near his window,leaning on the windowsill and more clearly said. ."I divorce you".

Tears welled in his eyes as he uttered the finalisation of his decision. Still looking at him as if daring him to say it one last time . He turned away from her glare filled with distinctive hurt and disappointment.

" I divorce you"

Transfixed by the just happened events,she left the room shut the door behind her and that was a chapter she closed

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