Honestly, I've never been the type of person who made friends easily. In 6th (and 7th) grade, I went to a private school where I was constantly made fun of. All of the girls there were from a rich neighborhood called 'Swan Place', so they mainly made fun of me for living in the ulgiest apartment building in town, that was right across from there. And let me tell you that it was a fucking nightmare. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I could never fit in with them. I was constantly ignored and left out...treated like dirt. I was tripped in the halls repeatedly, my head was slammed into lockers, and I was pushed into muddy puddles sometimes, but I always had to deal with humiliation and pain. And it was all because of a girl named Caitlin, who practically led the P.M.S, as I called it (Preppy Meanie Society)...who definitely acted snappy and PMS-y. One day, right before Christmas break, she decided to pour milk over my head at lunch and make me look like a total and complete fool in front of everybody. And I know for damn sure it wasn't an accident, even though she claimed it was. But it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise considering how she usually acted. What sucks the most, though is that she never got in trouble. When that milk was poured on me, the principal seriously thought she tripped over a FORK and just ”accidentally” tossed her milk on me. But who wouldn't believe the 'straight A' kid? I was really tired of it. So that day, I went to her locker after school and told her that she needed to stop her rude behavior, because I was getting extremely sick and tired of how she acted. Since no teachers were around she slapped me, and I went home feeling more embarrassed than I ever had felt, especially because I missed my bus and had to walk the two miles home... in the snow. It didn't help that I was a short, weak, defenseless little twig either. That night I cried and cried uncontrollably...I didn't even eat dinner. I told my parents that it was just a bad stomache ache ...that I'd be okay. Winter break passed, and all was good the first day back at school, until Caitlin striked again. What she did this time was way worse, though. She once again poured her drink on my head, (which happened to be lemonade), but only about half of it this time. The other half she poured on my thighs, after dumping her pasta on my unfinished sandwich. She then yelled, "Eww!! Look, everyone, Raven peed her pants!" Of course, the whole immature, 7th grade class believed it. I was taken to the nurse's office, where I had to change out of my brand new, WHITE dress into an ugly gym uniform. I'd spent $40 on that dress, my whole allowance for 8 weeks, hoping it would get me some positive attention, but of course that stupid little brat HAD to ruin it. The nurse and everyone else looked at me with disgust for the rest of the day. I'd had enough. After school that day, I ran outside to find her, not even caring whether I missed my bus or not. When I finally found her in the middle of the soccer field behind the school with her friend, Gucci (ridiculous name, I know) I jumped up on her, piggy-back style and started hugging her neck as tightly as I could. When I heard footsteps behind me, I unwrapped one of my legs from Caitlin's waist and kicked back. When I heard a grunt, I looked behind me to find Gucci lying on the floor, iPhone knocked out of her hand and cracked. I then pulled back on Caitlin's neck as hard as I could, knocking us both onto the grass. Somehow I managed to roll over so that she landed on her back, and not me. After that, it was crazy. She was already hurt enough because of her back, but I didn't care.
"Stupid meanie! I hate you!" I yelled as I slapped her multiple times, pulling her hair back to keep her from moving too much. When her face was red with hand marks, I got up and started kicking her side.
"You ruined my life! Everyone hates me because of you!" I shouted as I repeatedly kicked her, tears streaming down my face. She started flinching, and crying silently, not really able to move at all, but I still didn't think it was enough...so I punched her right in the nose. It started bleeding, so I reached into her backpack and pulled out her rented soccer Jersey and smeared it all over her face. " How does it feel to have ruined clothes now, huh?" I also pulled out some scissors from her dumb little 'I ♥ Prada' pencil pouch and started cutting holes out in the bloody Jersey, right in front of her face. She tried to mouth a "No" but she was too weak to even move her mouth.
At that point, I finally felt satisfied with myself, and decided to get up and try to leave ASAP...when I saw Gucci crawling to the front doors of the school, holding... my phone? I must've dropped it. And was she seriously concious the whole time? Well, I ran up to her and kicked her in the stomach once more, so she'd actually be unconscious. It worked. I took my phone, which was on the video menu, and put it in my pocket. I dragged Gucci to where Caitlin was and put the scissors in her hand, then made a run to the high school, to catch my second bus. I'd only spent about 10 minutes on Gucci and Caitlin, so I barely made it. I found the video of everything...well, everything after I knocked out Gucci.
~~~
The day after that, Caitlin was absent. I knew this because she had art, science, and study hall with me...the first three classes of the day. In the middle of third period, I was called down to the office.
"Miss Ralston,"
"Yes?"
"Can you please send Raven Johnson to the office?"
Well, crap. I was busted now for sure...or so I thought.
"It was her! I swear!" Gucci yelled in her annoyingly high-pitched voice as she pointed a bony finger at me.
The principal, Mrs. Morrison hauled her away to her office while I stood at the front desk, not sure of what was going to happen.
"Hi, Raven...we just wanted to tell you that your $20 bus fee needs to be turned in by Friday."
Whoa, what a freaking relief.
"Oh, here you go." I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and walked back to my classroom.
Back then, I tried so hard to be extremely nice to people, completely unlike now. I'm barely going into 9th grade. Two years...that's it. It seems like so much more.
Well, I ended up switching to a public school after 7th grade because enrollment at the private school was getting pretty expensive. I was fine with it, because I felt like I needed a fresh, new start anyway. I made a couple of new friends. Either way, the only friends that I did have at StoneFox Academy were two guys: Thomas and Josh...also outcasts. A girl named Patricia was also my friend, but she ended up moving to Missouri about halfway through the year. I'll admit, I do miss them all, but whatever. Life goes on. They probably replaced me already. I still text Patricia once in a while...
When I started going to Eastwood Middle School, I heard that Gucci had to go to court because of what "she" did. For some odd reason, Caitlin blamed her instead of me...and since she's good at persuasion (and they found the scissors in Gucci's hand) her family won the case. Gucci ended up going to a juvenile detention center for three weeks, and of course, HATED Caitlin after that. Caitlin ended up getting bad grades, like C's and D's, and lost a lot of friends, and her good-girl reputation.
I'm glad that she paid for all those years of torture she gave me, but I still feel bad about it. I know that it may seem like I really don't give a fuck about what other people think or say now, because I surely act like I don't. I mean, I really don't to some extent, but deep down, the words do hurt me. I guess that when you're always taken advantage of and you're "too nice" to defend yourself, like I was...you need to start toughening up after a while, to hide that nice, kind part of your heart, to protect it. I bet I'm sounding like...really stupid, sharing all these deep thoughts and stuff, but whatever.
See, with my family...especially with my mother, I can't be all tough. Well, I can, but it just doesn't seem that "real". I just end up breaking down and letting all my true feelings out in the end. It's kinda hard to explain...
