I am here in my room again, which turned to be less comfortable than how I always remembered it. My mind is still afloat and away from my body. My thoughts reminisced the details of our little kiss that seemed to last a lifetime.
Something is definitely not right about me. A little while ago, while our lips were gently pushed against each other, I felt like my imperfections were filled. It felt like everything that we did was right. He seemed so genuine and sincere. But I knew he did that to get me back for humiliating him. With that thought kept in my mind, I felt bad all of a sudden. I felt like I became a dirty little prostitute right after the instant we parted from our kiss.
To get away from that kind of mind, I pressed play and the little device that is my cellphone produced its music. I am currently listening to P!nk's song--Who Knew. I started to sing along.
"I'll keep you locked in my head, until we meet ag--" My phone rang.
Ba-ba-ba . . . Ba-ba-na-na . . .
Yeah, I changed my ringtone. I looked at the call to see who was the caller that ruined that beautiful song. The screen on my phone just showed the caller's number--which means the caller is unknown. I immediately declined the call. Not too long my phone lit up once again with the exact same three first numbers (I wouldn't memorize his phone number, right?), so I was assuming it was still her . . . or him? I don't know.
"Hello . . ." I said. The caller din't say anything. I was waiting for a reply from . . . whoever this is. I got irritated after the wait that seemed perennial.
"Hey! Who is this?!" and still no answer. Don't you think this is rude?
"Hey . . ." A voice touched my ear. That voice was so amazing. In fact, the voice was so amazing it sounded so familiar. It felt like I have heard this kind of voice not too long ago--it was the kind that sends me to electrocution.
"Look . . ." He continued.
"Wait, who exactly is this?" I wanted to be sure. It doesn't hurt to ask. I heard him inhale an inexplainable amount of oxygen and let out this ridiculous sound from his mouth. I assumed he was nervous.
"It's me . . ." Another sigh left his lips. "Carlo . . ." my vision turned blur. But just when my eyes turned completel dim, he continued.
"Look . . ." He repeated. "I really didn't mean to do that. I mean my plan was to drag you to the place and threaten to kiss you." He groaned.
"But, when I looked at you. It just . . . sort of happenned" He stuttered. He actually sounded cute that very moment. That made my heartbeat fast.
"So . . . apology accepted?", he said with a different tone--confident. He actually thought that I'd forgive him just like that? After what he did to me? After what he made me think of myself? He expected me to accept his apology after all that? Well he was right . . .
"Sure . . ." I uttered in a way very different to how he said his last statement--unsure. It sounded more of a question than an answer. All my thoughts were halted at the sound of his giggle. Yes, that's what you call it--giggle. He sounded like a baby boy. Not the kind that made me groan in frustration due to the sound of a baby whine, it was the adorable, not to mention huggable (if possible), type. After his little time for his self, he continued speaking.
"So what are you doing Saturday?" He stated enthusiastically. Well, that was unconventional.
"Are you really that kind of person?" I didn't mean to actually offend him, that was nothing but curiosity. I just hope I did not transgress him.
"You mean the kind that, after quite a time of apology, changes mood and asks you "random" things?" I sighed, he took the words perfectly out of my mouth. My sigh, if he doesn't get it, means yes.
"I'll take that as a yes!" He said. So he did get it.
"Ok, I need to go. Bye!" I heard him sigh. I remembered his question. "By the way . . ." I started. "I don't think I would be doing anything this Saturday." He chuckled at my statement.
"Do you mind accompanying me then?" He asked.
"I guess not, why?" I asked him back.
"Just dress up casually, nothing really important.", was he defensive just a second ago? I tried not to think about it that much and just agreed to his last sentence.
"So would it be fine if I pick you up after lunch probably?" He gladly interrogated.
"Sure, see you!" I replied.
The days went fast and it's already friday afternoon--dismissal time. I don't know why but I am so excited for tomorrow. Is it a date? I really don't think so. And I am thirteen years old for goodness' sake, my mind is set to nothing about love. I have dreams. I don't want to be like other people who just "goes with the flow". No! I want my life to have one specific path that I would strictly follow. And I would surely not let love change my way.
"What am I saying?" I grasp my face at the thought. What am I talking about? What love? There surely is no love happening between me and Carlo. At least not that I know of, no. And I am one hundred percent sure that he already has a girlfriend. I reached my room, finally. I jumped to my bed, still on my school uniform.
Who wouldn't fall in love with that kind of guy? Who wouldn't want to stare at those lovely blue eyes. Who wouldn't want to observe each and every adorable move he makes? Who wouldn't want to ki--
"Stop!" I halted my own thoughts.
"I did not just say that!" I continued my very own "pep talk". It took a ridiculous amout of time just to get that out of my system. With all the frustrations, I managed to make this poem:
There was this day
I considered the best
It was the time I met you
One of the few I won't detest
You stared at me
With those blue eyes
You smiled at me
I didn't know why
The days passed--
Then I can't write another line. I don't know why. It's not that I can't think of another, it's that a part of me says not to write what's on my mind right now. But doing that is so not me. The point of making a poem is to express what you truly feel, right? But something tells me that this is wrong. I don't know why. And I though I was smart. It seems there are still a lot of things I am required to understand.
"12:00 . . ." I sighed at the sight of my clock. I took that much of time just to . . . never mind. I took my phone off my butt and played music.
Now Playing: Clarity by Zedd
If our love is tragedy
Why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity,
Why are you my clarity?
