Second Chances

Chapter 8-Guilt

Chapter 8-Guilt

I watched her from afar.  I wasn’t supposed to, but I hadn’t had a new charge for two weeks and what else could a guardian angel do except observe?  I watched as she went back to Charlie’s the day after the incident.  She went straight to the bartender whose name I gathered was Johnny and asked him about me.  He told her that he’d never seen me in his life.  All Diane could do was walk away and wonder about the guy who had saved her.

After a few days of watching her search for me, I decided to appear again in my human body.  I was in front of a coffee shop that I knew she went to every morning.  I appeared like I was buying a paper and that was when she noticed me, tugging at my arm.

“Sir?”

“Yes,” I said.  I raked over her appearance and saw the relief in her vibrant green eyes. 

“You’re him.  You’re the guy from Charlie’s.  You helped me.”

Giving the man the money for the paper, I turned toward her and signaled her to follow me.  We walked down Fifth Avenue in silence .  For awhile, I wondered about what I was getting myself into.  I wondered if developing a relationship with Diane might complicate things.  I wondered if I should have even talked to her.  If I hadn’t saved her from the deal she had with Thomas then none of this would be happening.

But things have a funny way of turning out.

As the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, Diane and I formed a romantic relationship.  By then I had been assigned to a new charge named Daniella Thompson.  She was going through depression after losing her mother to a gun man.  Daniella had witnessed the entire incident and had nightmares every night because of it.  The nightmares caused her to want to end her life because she didn’t believe she couldn’t keep going.  That is why I was there for her.  She needed to know that she could and that she had the strength to continue.

But when I wasn’t watching over Daniella, I was with Diane.  There were so many things that we did on those late spring nights.  We went to Rolling Stone concerts and took late night strolls in Central Park.  The longer I began to spend time with her, the harder it was becoming to keep my secret.

Under no circumstances, are we allowed to reveal ourselves.  There was never a reason to keep our secret other than to keep the knowledge that we exist a secret.  I couldn’t tell you anymore about this, and I can see in your eyes that you wish to know more.

The other reason I don’t choose to tell you everything is because I don’t want to risk the same thing to happen to Diane to happen to you.  I’m sorry…but it’s the way things need to be done.  I can’t turn back time and change what happened to her afterwards but I can prevent it from every happening again.

It was a little over a year since I’d met Diane that I’d made the decision that forever would change my life.  I remember the night that I revealed what I was as if it was yesterday.  It’s s vivid in my mind that I could never forget that moment in my life.  You also don’t forget an event that impacts the remainder of your existence.

Diane and I were up in her apartment, and that night she had invited me to stay over as many nights beforehand.  I agreed without hesitation and while we were kissing there was a pang of guilt burning at my chest, yearning for me to tell her before things began to escalate to the next level.

“There’s something that I need to tell you,” I said pulling away and looking into her deep green eyes.  “It’s important.”

Her eyes sparkled with anticipation and she cooed, “Well, tell me Alex!  What is it?”