Confessions of a Depressed Teenager

Briefly.

Waking up is my least favorite part of the day and my days are pretty much
always fucked up. Let me explain. From the moment i open my eyes i hear yelling. not typical 'try not to wake everyone in the house' more like 'lets wake up the whole block yelling. Most people would say I'm lucky that my parents are together, but this fighting is crazy now. They always say they're going to get a divorce, but never do and in the long run that's hurting me. I try not to let it bother me and pretend I'm fine but it doesn't really help anymore. I would rather have them happy and apart then together and miserable. If I could I would move out of my house and basically my country but sadly I can't do that. Mostly because I'm not eighteen but also because I'm broke. I don't like to think about what's going on in my life but I'm so surrounded that it swallows me up. Having a drug addict mother and a father that works himself to death I can't help but to feel alone. I have siblings but they're all older than me leaving me the youngest. To be technical I have 6 half siblings. I like to think that they're just so busy and can't make time for me seeing as most have kids or live somewhere else. But that's not really the case. They recently started including me and it's a great feeling except I have none. When I say I have no feelings and a cold heart I don't mean it like "oh I do but I'm pretending that I don't to fit in" because fuck fitting in. Currently life is going alright. It's not all bad but certainly not peachy. Let me start from the beginning.