Twenty Eight Lattes 》Calum Hood AU

coffee shop soundtrack

Calum Hood is an asshole.

I tried so hard to fight the feeling I got when he flirted, smiled or even glanced at me.

I didn't want to be his friend, but here I was, sitting on a park bench with him in plus five weather, drinking hot chocolate.

It was my day off and I had a therapy session that evening.

I wasn't planning on telling Carlos about my day out with Calum. He would tell me that I'm making progress and ask how Calum would feel if I killed myself.

I shivered as I tried to shake that thought away. Calum noticed of course. "Cold?" He asked and I nodded. It wasn't that cold out, it was just me. But he didn't need to know that.

"Come here." He said, opening an arm and giving me a smile. I scooted over and leaned into him gently. He rubbed my shoulder lightly and we continued to drink in silence.

"So your friends seem interesting." I commented, trying to break the silence.

"Yeah they are. Good guys, bad grades, annoying as fuck sometimes but I love them. They're my best friends."

I felt the corner of my lips turn upwards as I listened to Calum practically call his friends his family. Somewhere in my mind, I kinda wished I had friends like that. Or friends at all.

That thought tasted bad on my tongue and I decided to spit it out.

"I used to have friends. I can't explain it but something happened when I turned sixteen. It was like I entered an alternate universe and suddenly I was a different person and I didn't have any friends and I was...alone."

"Is...is that why you want to die?" Calum asked quietly. His voice was so low, it was like a whisper in the wind. But I heard him, and I felt reluctant to answer but I did anyway.

"No I don't mind being by myself. It was more like something shifted in the atmosphere. Like there was some sort of imbalance that came out of nowhere. That's how depression creeps up on you. Something in your personal world shifts and suddenly this thing is following you home from school and sleeping in your bed with you."

Calum sits silently and I pretend not to notice that his grip on me has tightened just a little bit.

"It happened to me in English class. We were given an assignment and I started writing a poem. About self harm and my teacher saw it and sent me to the principals office."

"I think the easiest way to put it is that I feel like a werewolf. They need a full moon to shift. The actual physical shifting, the becoming a predator, is what my suicidal urge stems from. I feel it all the time. Like there's always a full moon. And I have to do it."

I was sure I had stunned Calum into silence, as he was quiet for several minutes. But he surprised me and himself I think when he spoke again.

"So what is your favourite latte flavour?"

I chuckled, slightly confused. How could he be thinking of latte flavours after I just compared myself to a werewolf?

"You said you didn't wanna have favourites if you're gonna leave. But if it happens, I wanna know what to bring you to try and coax you out of it. It sounds stupid but that's the only way I can think of saving you."

"Why would you wanna save me? I don't even wanna save me."

"You might not wanna save yourself, but you have people who care about you Lyra. And believe it or not, I'm not just another song on your coffee shop soundtrack. I care about you because I like you and you're pretty and interesting and I don't want you to leave."

"Calum?" I looked at the beautiful boy infront of me. He looked right back and made a humming sound.

"I didn't want to but...I like you too." And I leaned in.