My mate's an alien

Break ins and Bartholomews//3

Blake's POV
Tree, oh tree, how I love thee. Thy skinny branches and smooth surface, I love thy tree. I am such an amazing Shakespeare, aren't I. Now you maybe wondering why I started confessing my love for a tree while the one true love of my life is elsewhere. Weeeellll....I may or not be dangling from a tree branch by my pants....and that tree may or not the on in front of Xavier's house. It wasn't my fault...exactly. Blame the tree!

Let's rewind 2 hours and you might just be able to understand...

I drove to Mr electric pole's house, parked my baby on the opposite side of the road to his house, which coincidentally none of my friends lived on. Oh the shock. I hope to food someone picked up on the sarcasm. Hmm...did I forget I am very sarcastic.

I got out of my car...humming secret mission tunes. I sprinted, well to me it was sprinting to other it would be something called walking. Psshhh. Yeah right. Anyway, as I was saying sprinted to this grand oak, which to my luck lead right up to Xavier's room. Thank you food!

I gripped onto the tree, it was very very hard because it was so damn smooth. Does this tree effing moisturise?! Do trees even moisturise? I started climbing higher and higher, hmm, I should definitely do this more often, I am amazing at this. Well, I am amazing at everything.

Just as I about to reach out and roll into booger's room. Ooo. That's what I am going to call him. Booger. Perfect. As I was saying, I slipped, and ended up dangling from a tree branch by my pants, Looking like cupid trying to shoot his next victim, umm, I meant person, I just didn't have the bow or white clothes.

Right in front of a window that gave me a clear view of booger and his mommy. Now that I think about it, they can see me too. Oh my god. I hate you Brookie. Food, you will always be my one true love, and my baby, I will never forget you.

Those better not have been my last words because I swear to food I will come back from the dead and haunt everyone to their deaths.

You will find dangling from a tree branch very entertaining actually. Oh who am I kidding, it is horrible. I want to get down. If I get home I am so going to steak out. Thinking about it already has me salivating.

I thought I may as well look into the window and to my surprise I found booger and his mommy still talking, except there was one little thing that was different, they weren't talking, Booger was getting scolded by his mommy.

This couldn't get better. A grown 18 year old male getting told off by his mommy. All of a sudden his mommy blows off, and her curt words became into shouts.
"Xavier Bartholomew Grove, how dare you eat all the cookies!" His mommy yelled. His middle name is Bartholomew, oh this is priceless. Brookie I love you!

I tried holding in my laughter because the window was open and I would clearly get caught. You know I am very confused, how have they not figured out I am here, dangling from a grand oak tree none the less. Idiots. I may have spoken too soon, I burst out into a fit of laughter, in my defense no one would be able to not laugh! The only way you wouldn't, is if you were an alien!

I had a sliver of hope left in me, but that was crushed as booger and his mommy both stopped talking and simultaneously turned to look at me. It looked as if they practiced that. Creepy. Shivers. I was dead. Goodbye world....

Hello those lovely people who read my story. First of all I am soo sorry I haven't been updating it regularly. I have been blocked for ideas, but now I know what I want, but the updates will still be irregular as I am pretty busy. Secondly, thank you sooo much to eveyone who reads, votes and comments. It means soo much to me. Thirdly, if there are things that you think will make this better please let me know. Thank you!