Catsby: A Novel

Chapter 34: Part 2

After a few minutes of waving the laser pointer, it began to flicker. It soon died out completely. I hit it against the door a few times to get it to work again. No luck. We were doomed. I chucked the dead laser pointer into the sea.

"I guess that's it," I whispered in a horse voice to Catsby (or at least what I assumed a horse sounded like—I'd never heard one talk). "Maybe you won't live long enough to have babies. The more I think about it, I'd guess you're probably spayed or neutered, so that's a moot point. We're—"

I paused. A sound...in the distance.

"Did you hear that?"

Catsby looked at me like I was crazy. The sea drives you to madness, sure—that's well established in literature. Look at that poor chap in Moby-Dick who chased that whale around. Would he have chased an equally large elephant around? No, because the ocean does things to your mind. But I'd heard something. The sound of...wings flapping. I scanned the clouds in all directions. A bird? A plane?

"Judi Dench!"

The dragon descended through the clouds and cruised across the water toward us. Although ten larger than when I'd last seen her, she was still the same dragon I'd woken up with in the hotel bathtub. I've since learned that dragons grow at an incredibly fast pace, since they were originally engineered as weapons of war. You can't wait twenty years for your genetic weapon of mass destruction to mature.

Judi Dench flew low over us, and then turned around. On the second pass, she landed in the water with a terrible splash that nearly tipped Catsby off the door. I could see now that the dragon wasn't alone.

"Cordon!"

Judi Dench paddled close to us. Cordon, riding on her back, extended an arm. "Need a lift, lover boy?"

I gripped her hand and she pulled me aboard the dragon's back. "Hold on," I said. "We have to get Catsby."

"Catsby? But he's—"

I reached out for the cat, and he scrambled up my arms and into my lap. "This is Catsby," I said, petting the creature.

"He does look like him, doesn't he?"

"It's uncanny."

She paused. "You don't think that's..."

"Actually him? Stranger things have happened."

"You're right about that," she said. "Where were you guys headed, anyhow?"

"Nowhere fast," I said, trying to sound like a rebel. Instead I sounded like a dork. What else was new. "And you?"

"I found this dragon in one of Catsby's garages this week," Cordon said. "I'm supposed to be in California at another hot-dog eating competition next month. Until then, I don't know."

"Are you staying with Tucker and Dandelion?"

She shook her head. "Hadn't you heard? They left town."

"Say what?"

"What," she said.

"Thanks," I said. "So where did they go?"

"They just packed their bags and left town last night. Dandelion said they had two tickets to paradise. Wherever that is, I've no idea."

"Two tickets?" I said. "What about the kids?"

Cordon laughed. "I think they're kind of tired of being parents. Can you blame them?"

I nodded. "I was just starting out on a boat trip. Want to join me? I guess we'd have to find a new boat, but I heard the Mississippi River is nice this time of year. Just you, me, and Catsby."

The orange tabby meowed in recognition of his name.

"Forget the boat trip," Cordon said with a wicked smile. "Where we're going, we don't need boats."

She patted the dragon's neck. And with that, we flew off into the early morning sky. I didn't know what would happen between us, but there was a feeling in the air that anything was possible, because, hey, we were riding a freaking sweet-ass dragon. Plus, I still had Catsby's Rite-Aid card in my wallet. The future was wide open. Who knows? Maybe we'd even stop at a Shake Shack somewhere along the way.

And so Judi Dench's wings beat on...