Memories and Shadows [Rune Factory 4]

Spirit

I was the first. I might not have been the last, but I believe, in my heart, that I was the first. I have to believe that. It's all that makes the worst days bearable, sometimes. So come what may, I remind myself of that: I was the first whose love he returned.

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I tried not to cry, though I wanted to run and hide and cry and cry and cry, until there were no tears left in me. But he was standing there, watching me, and I could not cry. I must not cry.

But I did, a little, anyway.

"Are you all right?" His beautiful voice, full of concern, penetrating my embarrassment.

"Y-yes, it seems I am fine. Thank you," I replied, neither rising nor looking up into his eyes, which I could feel focused on me.

"That was quite a tumble," he exclaimed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, thank you. I am sure. I-I'd better get back to work now," I mumbled, trying harder to smother the tears. I felt a hand on my shoulder, feeling his warmth and strength though his touch was light.

"Let me help you up," he said gently, and I nearly cried again—this time with relief that there was no trace of laughter in his voice. I was so used to people laughing at me whenever I fell down. And it happened so, so often....

I hesitated, then nodded, and he held out his hands to me. I was reluctant to take them, but I did. His hands were so much bigger than mine, it felt as though they wrapped around me, completely surrounding me with their warmth and strength, protecting me from... what? Myself?

Perhaps.

"You're sure you're not hurt?" he asked, and he sounded so concerned, I nearly cried again.

I took a deep breath and braved a look into his face. As always, I found myself sinking into the lilac depths of his eyes, so beautiful it made my heart ache. I nodded again, feeling as though I was in a dream.

"I-I should go. Thank you," I stammered, then turned to go back into the inn.

But he held onto my hands. "Wait a moment, please? There's something I need to tell you."

I held my breath, feeling that somehow, something was ending—that he was leaving, that his memories had returned and he was going back to his home, and perhaps to a lover. Or that he was moving on from this little town that would seem too empty without him.

"Xiao...."

"No, please, don't say it! I-I don't want you to go," I blurted out, as surprised by my outburst as he was.

"To... to go? Go where?" I turned scarlet as I realized that he had no idea what I meant, that I was completely mistaken, yet I was too relieved to care that I had goofed up again, for once.

He shook his head. "No, I... I wanted to tell you... you see, Xiao, I love you, and—"

"What?!" I shouted, turning redder still as passersby stopped to stare at me. "No no no no no! You... you can't... you don't..."

"No, I really do," he said, smiling, and the corners of his eyes crinkled in just that way that I loved so dearly. "And I'd like to know—do you feel the same way about me?"

I didn't know what to say, and I don't think I could possibly have said it anyway, so I just stared at him for a moment. Then I managed to reply, "I-I'm... I can't think at all clearly! It seems I need a little time to calm down, so please will you meet me tomorrow? In the castle courtyard? I will answer you then."

He held my hands a moment longer, then he gave them a gentle squeeze and nodded. "Tomorrow, then, at 10:00. I'll wait for you there." Then he was gone, and I was left with my confusion.

I tossed and turned all that night, even falling off the bed and hitting my head once. Was what he said true? I couldn't be dreaming all this... could I? But then I realized... I didn't care! If it was only a dream, I would grasp whatever happiness I could before I awoke. And if it wasn't... if it wasn't....

I was so anxious something would go wrong and I'd be late, I arrived an hour and a half early. There was no sign of Prince Piers (my heart beat faster, even just thinking of him), so I leaned against the castle wall and slipped into daydreams. Unless I was really just dreaming all that time—then I supposed they'd just be more dreams.

"Xiao?" His voice broke into my reverie, and I jumped, so startled I bit my tongue.

"Oww!" I whimpered, clapping my hands over my mouth.

"Are... are you okay?" he asked, stepping closer. He smelled nice, outdoorsy, like freshly-tilled earth and sweet grains and the green scent of fresh air and growing things.

Nodding my head, I explained, and instead of laughing, he again just looked concerned. So I hastily started to give my answer.

"I... I'm not dreaming, am I?" I asked first, and with a smile, he shook his head. I sighed in relief, then said, "No one has ever said they loved me before—except for Mama and Papa of course, but they don't count. Not for this." He looked surprised, and feeling even more embarrassed, I quickly continued. "I'm not beautiful like Mama, you see. And anytime a boy has acted interested, it turned out he was only using me to get closer to Mama. But you're not like that, Piers. You like me, not Mama, even though she's so pretty and elegant and graceful and I'm... not."

"I think you're pretty, and adorable, and much more," he started, but I put my finger over his lips, shivering at the contact.

"Shh, let me finish—before I panic and forget everything I want to say. I... I was so happy when you said you love me, because no one has said that to me before. But... I was happiest of all that the words came from you, Piers, because I... I love you, too."

Then he wrapped his arms around me, and he sighed as if he was actually relieved that I hadn't turned him down, and I wanted that moment to never, ever, ever end.