Memories and Shadows [Rune Factory 4]

Vulnerability

I was used to being protected and cherished, yet after a while I found such care to be suffocating, despite the good intentions of those who looked out for my well-being. So when the chance to escape came, I took it, landing in the castle of a small town. I was careful to establish a relationship with the townsfolk of the sort that would not encourage them to be overly protective. And I was fine with that, truly I was. Until he came along....

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I was so embarrassed when I woke up and stretched after my nap and saw.... Well, I just couldn't help falling asleep, it was so warm and I was so... so content. I didn't even know I was falling asleep until I woke up, stretched, and saw... Piers. He was watching me with a look so tender, I could have melted, if I wasn't too busy dying of embarrassment. I could even still feel the impressions of his buttons in my cheek.

"I...I... I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, then I sprang to my feet and ran as fast as I could to the castle, where I threw myself onto my bed and cried and cried.

I'd never hated my habitual napping as much as I did right at that moment. My mother had worried about it so much when I was a child that she took me to a group of specialists. They threw around words like "narcolepsy" and "hypersomnia" and "circadian rhythm", but in the end, they could find nothing wrong with me. Apparently I just like to sleep a lot—like a cat, my daddy would say, shaking his head, whenever he found me waking up from yet another nap in some sunny corner of the house.

But this—this was different. To doze off on a sunny bench was not so bad in itself, but to fall asleep with my head on his shoulder... and he already had not one, but two girlfriends. Who just happened to be my dear friends. I started to cry again from sheer humiliation.

"Clorica?" I jumped to hear his voice calling softly to me. I froze, not daring to look up or reply. A moment later I felt him sit on the edge of my bed, and his hand began gently stroking my hair. "What is it? Why did you run away like that?"

I shivered. I was too embarrassed to face him, let alone talk to him. Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't—sound just wouldn't squeeze out of my aching, throbbing throat.

"You know," he said after a minute, still stroking my hair, "it was actually kind of nice, sitting there with you like that, just watching you sleep. You looked so happy—you must have been having nice dreams."

I cringed at his words—that was the other thing upsetting me. I'd had lovely dreams, but they were all about him—my friends' boyfriend. I couldn't admit that to anyone, but particularly not to him. My embarrassment at falling asleep on his shoulder was nothing compared to that.

"This... might not be the best time to tell you this," he said, strangely hesitant, "but... well, I love you, Clorica."

I jumped up then, scrambling to my feet, shocked and flustered. "Wha... what did you say?! Are you... you're just teasing me, right?" He shook his head slowly. "Then... then I'm still asleep and dreaming all this. That must be it. Right?" Again, he shook his head, the traces of a smile playing in the corners of his lips.

"No, Clorica, I'm completely serious, and you are definitely awake. Won't you tell me if you feel the same way about me?"

"But... but... but how? Why? I... I don't know... I can't think straight. Can... can I answer you tomorrow? I'd like to...." My voice faded away uncertainly as I looked into those magically dreamy lilac eyes.

"To sleep on it?" he asked, with a hint of laughter in his voice. I huffed, unwilling to show that I appreciated his little joke, and he rose after giving a final stroke to my hair. "Of course. Why don't we meet in the morning, after I've finished my chores?" I nodded and he left, quietly closing the door behind him.

I knew about his relationship with Xiao and Forte already, of course. The whole town did, anyway, and they were both close friends. I guessed that if they were okay with sharing him with each other, they probably wouldn't mind sharing him again. Hopefully.

I shook my head to clear it. Hopefully? Was I seriously... how did I feel about him? I remembered the contented dreams I'd had, in which we were married and had two pretty children—a boy and a girl—and so in love I could still feel the ache of it in my heart.

Or maybe it wasn't the lingering traces of that dream? Maybe... maybe it was how my heart really felt. I wondered what it would be like to... to be with him, to have him looking at me in that special way I'd seen him looking at Xiao and Forte, to kiss him. My cheeks burned as I remembered a particularly passionate, lingering kiss we'd shared in my dream. On the other hand... what would it be like to not be with him? To never be with him, ever?

I almost gasped at the sharp pain stabbing through my heart at that thought. But all the same, even if he thought he loved me, he didn't really know how awful I could be. If I was his girlfriend, I would almost certainly mess up. I'd fall asleep somewhere and miss a date, or say something stupid when I was halfway dozing, or something. I had to at least be fair and warn him, then I'd see how he felt afterwards.

So when he came running in to meet me the next morning, looking disheveled and half-wild from working out in the winds wailing through the town that day, I steeled myself.

"Whew," he gasped, firmly shutting the door behind him and gasping for breath. "Looks like a storm's blowing in." Then he straightened up, ran his fingers through the wild shock of pale gold on his head, and smiled at me, his lilac eyes crinkling with pleasure to see me waiting for him. "So are you ready to give me an answer?"

I felt my knees grow weak as I looked into his eyes, and nodded. He waited patiently, letting me answer in my own time. I gulped and said, "I... I want you to know, I... well, I sleep a lot." Seeing the laughter in his eyes, I blushed. "I mean, a lot! You've no idea.... I don't always mean to, even. I can't help it, it's just the way I am. But...." I hesitated, fidgeting nervously.

"But?" he asked after a moment.

"But I'm scared. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep sometime and miss a date with you, or do something stupid like that. If I was your girlfriend, you'd have to put up with me being that way. I don't... I don't want to do anything to hurt you, or to disappoint you. I couldn't bear to do that. I... I just... I don't want to be a bother to you," I said, feeling tears spring to my eyes. I looked down, afraid to see the rejection in his eyes.

I felt his fingertips on my chin, tilting my face to look into my eyes, and there was no rejection—only love and acceptance.

"You're not a bother to me, Clorica. You could never be a bother. You needn't worry about oversleeping, or missing dates, or anything. I'll take care of you."

And for once, hearing those words filled me with relief, rather than despair, and with a sigh, I whispered, "Then my answer is yes—I love you, too, Piers."