Sweet Confessions

THE BIG DAY!

Okay, so it was my birthday, all right. I should be thankful for more reasons than one. First was our manager, Johnny, had agreed to postpone our live performances for New Orleans and Miami, which was good, ' coz I got the chance to celebrate my 25th birthday with the guys at home, instead in another cold hotel room, and second was my friends were more than glad to help with the preparation and third, and certainly not the least, Justin was there, running around the house putting up and hanging balloons, banners and all sorts of whatnot all over the place. It was more than okay, actually--Justin usually never bothered to give his own service; and the rest of the guys had been okay with that. Well, six years ago, they weren't. I remember at thge beginning of the tour when they would constantly nag and force Justin to help with the chores, but Justin would just pout and give them that "But I'm the youngest..." look. So eventually, they surrendered and spared him the effort and sweat.

But now he was really working his butt off. And Chris couldn't help but comment at it. "WOW!!! Is that you? Hallelujah, Oh Lordy!"

Joey gave him a pat on the back and nodded approvingly, "Juppy must be growing up."

Justin grinned in an  unbelievably cute manner and sighed, "Just doing it for the birthday boy."

So, see? I should be grateful and this should be a great day. But I couldn't help it. Just anticipating Britney and her overwhelming presence got me thinking twice.

Funny how my happiness depended completely on one guy.

I marched idly down the stairs and was greeted by a considerable amount of people. There were my friends, ex-girlfriends, some people from work. There was Jessica Simpson in her red dress, raising her glass upon noticing me. There were few other 'hollywood' people, too. Among my close friends were Christina who looked stunning in her brown hair, Johnny, Brad, Beyonce, Mandy, Felicity, Ryan, Adam and his band, and a few other crew men and dancers. How on earth did Chris and Joey manage to call this many people on such a short notice? Well, it only proved that Chris and joey had talents other than singing and dancing.

It was an open bar, and everybody, in my point of view, was having a good time. I came to check on them every now and then, cruising the stands, making sure all the glasses were filled with margaritas and tequila, and well, keeping gaze on Britney and Justin on the corner. Because who knew what could happen?

Britney looked, as always, fabulous that night. She was wearing a white cocktail dress and had her blonde hair tied into a pony tail, her bangs draping perfectly down the side of her angelic face. She ang Justin were immersed in a conversation no one could seem to get  through and from what I could see, Justin kept whispering things in her ear and she was laughing, her ivory teeth showing between her red lips.

I felt a sudden stab at my heart seeing them like that. Only there was no blood anymore, because apparently I ran out a long time ago.

How could life be so unfair?

"Hey man!!! Bobbie was here, didn't you see her?? Chris slung his arm around my shoulder and I couldn't do anything but shake my head weakly.

"You didn't?! Oh man, she looked hot!" Joey almost yelled, signaling to the bartender that he needed another shot.

I cleared my throat involuntarily, not feeling good at all. "Well, too bad, I guess."

"JC, you're not gonna believe this." Chris began, opening another chapter of a different topic, "We caught Lance and Bev making out in the lobby..."

And then, Chris and Joey giggled uncontrollably, and thankfully, I managed to force a weak smile. "Really? That's not surprising, considering the fact that they're dating."

"Yeah, but Lance had always made a big fuss about people making out at parties, saying that it's self-degrading and humiliating and simply gross and all that shit, and now, look who's degrading himself?! HAHAHA!!!"

"You're drunk, Chris." I shook my head at him.

"We got them on tape, by the way. Joey snickered, shoving me his video cam. And I shoved it away, clearly not in the mood.

"You okay, man?" Joey finally took notice. Chris still seemed oblivious, though.

"I'm okay... I'm just..." I turned my head in Justin and Britney's direction and to my utter disappointment, they were no longer there. Of course, two of the world's strongest aphrodisiacs-- liquor and public flirtation. "Nevermind."

And so realizing I was no fun to be with, Chris and Joey left the bar stands and I guessed maybe, shared some flirtations with other girls themselves. I'm not saying that night was a complete disaster--it just wasn't what I had in mind when I thought about merrymaking.

I let out a big sigh and began walking around again, preoccupying myself with the company of famous people I barely even knew. It was stressful, really. Although I was beginning to be an expert in the field of faking emotions, I'm not gonna say it was an easy job. It was difficult and I wanted to give up.

So right after socializing with Kelly and Michelle from the Destiny's Child, I decided to go to the front porch and soak in my solitude. With a beer in my hand, I sat in the swing and gazed at the street in front of me. I swung myself back and forth, the cold wind soaking through my jacket. I breathed in and breathed out and gave myself the luxury of letting the alcohol awaken my sleeping senses.

Before I could do anything, a tall figure emerged on my side, also, with a beer wrapped around his long, slim fingers. Justin was there, at first aia thought I was hallucinating, but as soon as I felt his weight on the swing I knew he was real.

"Where's Britney?" Out of all the questions that I wanted to ask him, this was the first thing that crossed my mind.

"Um... she left." There was a hinf of disappintment in his voice.

"Oh... What happened?" And I pretended I cared.

"I don't know. I remembered her talking about getting up early tomorrow, and having a beauty rest and all that. She'd rather die than witness her beauty drifting away right in front of her eyes." He laughed and looked down.

Clearly nothing happened. Thank God for that.

"She shouldn't worry though... I mean, look at her, she's glowing."

"Yeah, I know." He smiled but kept his eyes locked on the ground.

"Is she on tour now?"

That's what I heard. I don't know. She doesn't really talk about work with me."

"Oh... What do you talk about?"

"Mostly about her family, and mine, although she's not really that interested."

"Why was she in a hurry to leave?"

"I told you Joshua, that girl needs beauty rest."

"Oh, yeah? She doesn't need it."