Dear Cancer Girl

13th Note

Dear Cancer Girl,

When I went into your room you sat on your bed and I sat on the chair beside it.

At first we just sat in silence, both of us staring at the floor, but then you looked up and straight into my eyes, so I looked back.

Then you asked me a question that caught me off guard.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

I didn't know what to say. I kind of just stared at you, hoping you were just joking around.

But you weren't.

"Don't think I didn't notice. I haven't seen any trace of you for like a week."

What could I tell you? That I'm madly in love with you but I know we can't be together because I'm not enough for you and you deserve someone better?

"I thought we were friends!"

"We are!"

"Then why?!"

"It's hard to say, okay!"

"But you just said we're friends, and friends tell eachother things, don't they?!"

"Not everything!"

"Why won't you tell me?!"

"Because I don't want to lose you! I don't want to lose you..."

It was an accident. I didn't mean to say it. It slipped out.

"You don't want to lose me... But you're avoiding me? Max, I realize you've never actually thought of this, so I'll let you think for a moment."

You were right. If I avoid you then I'll lose you for sure.

"You're right. I'm really sorry... I don't even... I honestly don't even know what to say."

"I miss hanging out with you. I miss our hour-long conversations. I miss our morning meetings. I miss all of it."

I sighed.

"Me too."