Effluvium //m.h.//

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//Baby's not made of China, baby's just sad. Tears should fall if they have to, maybe they had. God knows, she's ever grateful, maybe she's going mad.//

Of course it happened again. I turned to look at the boy laying peacefully next to me. He was dead asleep and I recognized him from last night on the bridge. I felt incredibly groggy, so I sat up and looked over him to see if my phone was on the side table. Luckily enough it was, so I carefully clambered out of bed and walked over to pick it up. Grabbing it, I turned the screen on and looked at the time. 5:48 am. No new texts or calls.

The one thing that caught my attention was the date. I did not meet this boy last night, I met him nearly two weeks ago. Loretta hadn't called or texted since and that worried me, but I'm sure she was probably just busy.

I frowned and looked down at my outfit. The same bra I had before was on, along with some of my nice lacey panties and a floral button up that appeared to be made for a woman. However, judging by the smell, it belonged to a man. The curly headed one in the bed most likely.

The room was quite bare, with only a dresser, a bed, a suitcase, and a nightstand in it. Examining the suitcase closer, I realized that it was mine. Frowning, I walked over to it and bent down. Thinking it was some kind of drunken escapade, I lifted the top to see what bullshit I had packed. What I definitely did not expect to see was an array of clothes packed like I had planned to stay here for quite awhile. Sighing, I kind of gave up and plopped myself on the floor and leaned against the dresser, running a hand through my very greasy hair. There's honestly only one thing that could have happened here.

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I didn't have the energy to put literal clothes on, so in the cold, early hours of the morning, I walked halfway across town wearing work out shorts and that floral button up I had woken up in. At around 7 am I arrived at my flat and walked in to reveal the mess I'd made. There were still bottles littered everywhere and the blade I had used to cut up that last line was still where I had dropped it. Honestly, being surprised at myself was old news and I wasn't in the slightest. This was expected. Ryan must have texted, and I obviously wanted to forget.

Ignoring the mess, I walked into my bedroom, immediately spotting my dance bag and grabbing it. Slinging the thing over my shoulder, I walked back out of my apartment and shut the door, locking it behind me. Once I was outside, I couldn't make myself walk any further. I put all my weight onto the door and slid into a sitting position. Slowly, tears started to roll down my cheeks, causing me to cry harder because I didn't want them there. I didn't want to be crying, I wanted coke. However, that didn't seem to be the best idea as of my current situation. Thank god, I didn't have deal with the withdrawals at their worst. Maybe not at all, but that depends on when they found me. I'll have to ask George, maybe he'd be willing to tell me.

I didn't know how long I had been sitting there crying. I did know that the frigid air had gotten a bit warmer and exactly when I realized it, I heard a familiar voice on the phone trailing up the stairs. I wanted to look over and see who it was, but my head didn't seem to want to listen. So I just sat there, feeling the tears on my cheeks dry up.

"Yes! ... No, I know. ... George! I'm here right now, and I- ... Lauren is waiting for me! She's been on my back for days, you know I have to-" He had reached the top of the stairs. "She's here, I gotta go." With that he hung up and walked tentatively over to me, reaching out a hand to touch my shoulder. I flinched at the contact, making him furrow his eyebrows.