Heartbeat

Painless

{Addison is empty, she can't feel anything anymore. Addek, Caddison friendship}

The days were constantly dragging along. Everything was painful. Everything made her hurt. The nights, when she could be alone with her thoughts, were horrifying. She was out of tears now and everything was dry. Her tear ducts were dry, her heart had crumbled and blown off in the wind, and her bubbly personality had dried up as well; leaving nothing but the shell of a beautiful woman. A woman who once thought her entire happiness relied on the dreamy neurosurgeon with the dark curls. Someone who knew she was nothing without this man by her side.

It turns out her thoughts were right, she just found out in a shitty way.

The day had been particularly crappy for Addison Montgomery. She had lost a mother, as well as her premature twins soon after, leaving a man alone; and having to bear the title of the woman who is personally responsible for his happiness being swept away in under an hour.

To make matters worse she later managed to pick the on call room that contained Derek and Meredith, when she had been trying to find somewhere to hide from the world to take a moment to attempt to cry.

Derek was done with Addison.

He made that abundantly clear by shouting at her, as well as the entire hospital, that he couldn't stand to see her face anymore. He proceeded to storm off, leaving Addison alone. She stared after his figure until he disappeared around the corner; then she became aware of the crowd of nurses, interns, and doctors beginning to whisper about or stare at her.
Her pride kicked in and she adjusted her posture and walked off to find an on call room.

She closed the door softly and then her entire spirit died; leaving behind a mess in red hair and Pradas. The tears came in like a hurricane; they poured down her face in loud choking sobs. Addison heaved as she began to lose her breath, reaching for her throat was the only attempt she made to slow down. Her body control had been swept away with the hurricane of tears and she continued to choke on her own breaths. Her mouth tasted salty and her vision was blurred. All she could do was wait it out.

A knock echoed off of the door, Addison couldn't hear it over her sobs so when no response came the knocker opened the door slowly.

Fortunately, it was Callie Torres. The only person on this entire planet Addison didn't want to hide from.

Callie's face melted when she saw the state of the obstetrician. Usually Addison had a confident aura  surrounding her constantly; she always looked put together, even in the worst of times. But what Callie saw in front of her was nothing like the Addison Callie thought she knew. The person in front of her had makeup running down her face, her red hair was a mess due to Addison yanking out her tight French braid, her breaths were rattled and short, and the choked, forlorn noises she made broke Callie's heart.

"Oh, Addison." Callie said softly. She walked over to sit down beside her friend, wrapping her arms around the shaking figure.

"Shh" Callie soothed, "you're okay." Addison's sobs sped up and she began to breathe shorter and faster.

It terrified Callie, seeing Addison like this, she looked so out of control.

Addison choked on her sob and coughed great big heaves until finally her stomach gave out. Addison's body folded in half and she threw up all over the floor.

"Oh, honey" Callie rubbed circles along her friend's back as she heaved and choked. Finally Addison caught her breath and managed to shift the upper half of her body into Callie's lap.

"I'm so-" Addie paused trying to catch her breath, she was exhausted from her breakdown. "So-so finished" she said decidedly. Callie stroked Addison's red hair,