The Proxy

Scalpel

I threw up on the ground. It looked like it was mostly blood but my vision was so blurry I couldn't even confirm this. I began to feel so light-headed that I kept swaying my head left and right. Everything was spinning and I desperately wanted to get away from this place, away from it all. I haven't even been here that long and I already can't handle everything that's thrown at me, it's scary. It's so scary and I can't get my mind off of what's happening. I started hyperventilating. My breathing became quicker and quicker, eyes widened and my breaths getting sharper each time.
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't take it. Whispers were constantly speaking in my head, telling me to just give in. They were yelling at me, screaming, talking, I couldn't handle it all. All of these changes, these chases, they were driving me mad. I didn't expect this all to happen to me, I should've trusted my instinctive feeling and left the woods as soon as I could. I should've been there for her, for Naomi. She trusted me and I threw that trust out the window. This is all my fault. My body was violently twitching and as it was I desperately tried to stop it. I couldn't. My legs started shaking and my head was pounding with screams and words from voices I've never heard before. I threw my head back desperately. I can't breathe.

I whipped my head to the right and looked over at the surgical table that was right by the dissection table I was on and stared. I stared at it, wide-eyed with my mind blank yet loud at the same time it drove me mad. I threw my arm towards the table and quickly grabbed a scalpel. Shakily yet quickly, I turned the sharp end towards me and immediately lunged the thing towards my throat. I just wanted to end it all. Everything will be better without me. Right before the scalpel pierced my throat, I felt my wrist become quickly pulled away and gripped tightly by something, throwing me down as soon as it got the scalpel out of my hands. My vision became blurred. Why. Why was it holding me back? I don't want any of this anymore. I wanted to end it all. End my fucking misery already.
As my vision began to slowly fade in, it became clear what exactly was happening, I saw Smiley straddled on top of me, holding both my wrists down and yelling at me about.. something. He kept on and on but I didn't bother listening to what he had to say. I stared right into his face, eyes half open and barely paying attention. His eyes were very obviously filled with fury yet, they glittered in the light like a star in the night.
He has nice eyes... I wonder if he knows he does... Such... Beautiful eyes. I want them. I wish I had them.
His voice began fading into my head, all the while I was there thinking about this guy's eyes.
"...nd do you even UNDERSTAND what could've happened to you if you've done that?! Do you hear me! Listen to me I'm talking to you!!"
"H...Huh...? Oh." I grinned, then began speaking in a low and breathy voice. "You know, you have really nice eyes. I like them a lot..."
I heard Smiley choke on his words then let out a quick sigh before speaking to someone else in the room.
"Please Boss just, take her to another room. A room away from all this stuff. Something isn't right with her and I don't have a clue as to what and why. It's like she... She snapped."
I laughed once more. Man, I can't believe I said that. Oh well, not like he cares anyway.
"I was just about to do that." The voice responded before wrapping me up again and carrying me to a different room.