Jelly

Floating A Few Inches

Today was... Overwhelming. You have to think about how it feels to be told that you like someone in school and it's your first time liking someone. It really is a big deal and can't be dismissed out of my mind. I jut think about all of the movies I've watched with the girls and how I saw love as useless and something that pulls you away from your dreams. But on the other hand, I never understood dreams either... Or hope... Or beliefs. When Pilar spoke to me earlier, she brought up hope, and I'm not going to lie: it make me want to puke inside. I tried to get out of the cafeteria as soon as possible. When I finally reached the doors of the café, I started to wonder if hope actually makes your life... Better. I mean, Pilar seems so happy and energetic and she has hope every single day and sometimes I just want that for myself...
---
I snap out of it. I don't have time to think about Pilar all the time. I have all my school work and after school clubs to focus on to get myself a better future than my siblings. My parents were never proud of my overachieving persona. For some reason, my sister's beauty and brother's athletic abilities overrule my brain. I'm not good enough for them and they mistreat me as if I was their... slave. It's totally fine with it though, because in my brain (which is the only one in my family), I see it as a death sentence. My brother isn't athletic enough to make a sports team, my sister isn't good looking enough to be a great model, but I have the potential to turn into a genius that can make a LOT of money and a huge future. Whenever my parents disrespect me and make me feel inferior, it just pushes me to be successful in life a lot more, because if I potentially grow up and make huge amounts of money, my parents will finally see me as a successful person, but it'll be too late. They won't be able to make up many years of tears and sadness. They will not take a single penny from my pocket because of the way they treated me now: I keep a grudge.
I suddenly clench my fists. It doesn't matter at the moment, so I let it go. I find my way to my bus, ready to take me home. I'm so tired of today and I'm both annoyed and glad that site over. I've always had huge projects to turn into that have had me grow gray hairs from my skull, and Pilar stresses me even more than that... I can't really explain it.
I find my seat on the bus. I'm so glad to know that I was saved a seat in the back of the bus by... Let's call him friend #7. I- uh... Can't remember his name.  Throughout the first half of the trip home, I have my earphones plugged in and I zone everyone out. I take a break after a song and look up and realize that about 10 other of my friends have been staring at me.
"Alright, what's up?". They all turn back around and stare out through their windows. One turns back around and looks down. I know what they're all focusing on, and I'll give them what they want.
"Ok, yes, maybe I like Pilar..", I start, "or maybe I don't. I'm confused, you know?"
They stare and one smiles and scoots next to me. He starts to punch me in the gut and tease me.
"Your first crush, am I right? It's definitely hard... If you know what I mean." He turns and all the other guys begin to laugh with him. I know what he means and I move my earbuds back into my ears. I'm not amused what-so-ever.
"Oh come on man," the guy starts, "but seriously, why aren't you sure? You need to be sure by now."
"I do? I DO? There isn't some- some rule book that says so, man. I don't know, I use haven't ever liked a girl before."
"I don't blame you," he starts, "someone as nice and hot as Pilar-"
I cut him off.
"Careful..."
"Sorry. What I meant is... You're new to this whole thing with girls and I get it. But do you feel something for her?"
"Feel something! Ha!". Everyone stares at the guy that yelled that out. This time, nobody is amused.
"I guess... I guess I do."
---
Pilar changed my life. She really did, and i had a feeling that it was a hurricane-like change disguised as a rainbow. But I'm not going to base my feelings towards her on some stupid dude I barely know on the bus... I need to chat with Christy and Katherine.
---
When I get arrive to my neighborhood's bus stop, I, along with the guys who were to busy focusing on their... Fantasies, we all get down.
I take a deep breath and run to Katherine's house first.
Katherine's House
I knock as hard as possible for Katherine to know its urgent but not too hard for her parents to be annoyed. I'm not surprised when she shows up to her door and answers with a tense look on her face.
"You figured it out didn't you!?!?". I try to interrupt but she continues to speak.
"Oh no... Oh no, oh no, oh no! IT'S HAPPENING! You're doing it!". I would naturally be confused by this, but most of my friends are weird and I adore them just like that.
Katherine grabs me from my hand and drags me to her car. I don't fight back because I know that if I do, I'm getting hurt- very.... hurt.
Christy's House
Both Katherine and I storm into her house without knocking. We both apologize and run up to her room. When we walk in, she's changing into her clothes and we both realize she just got out from her shower.
"Oh my" Katherine exclaims as she covers my eyes. I am so glad she did so, because I was completely paralyzed after experiencing that sinful moment.
Katherine finally uncovers after Christy has put on all of her prioritized pieces of clothing on. I grab a stress ball from Christy's drawer and sit down. Katherine whispers something to Christy and they both look at each other, look at me, then look back at each other.
"Damian, do you like Pilar?"
I know they don't want a complicated answer. They want a yes or a no, and they want that right now. I think about how Pilar makes me feel like I'm at the top of the world... How she makes me feel like sneaking behind her and hugging her... it's overwhelming... In a good way, if that makes sense. I do it without thinking...
I nod my head and they scream. They're excited to see me finally fall for a girl- an amazing girl- and start to finally focus on girls.
"Kath, give him the talk"
I suddenly expect something similar to the Birds and the Bees talk and I feel a bit sick. I look up to Katherine and watch her lips form a warning for me.
"Be careful Damian. Liking someone may feel amazing inside, but it could end at any moment. There are so many risks to liking someone, especially when they're as unique as someone like Pilar. I'm just saying... don't turn all mopey if it doesn't turn out as you thought it would, because it'll happen all the time. Just be confident around her and be yourself, okay?"
I shake. I don't know what to say or do. I've been feeling so amazing near her, but when I get away, I get this special vision of a terrible future to come to me, but as long as it isn't death, it's not going to affect me much, so I calm down and look up to the two girls in front of me.
I nod.